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Lucia came out of the work meeting with a bad headache, partly because it was such a long boring three hour session, but more so because most of the nicotine left her system, and her brain was screaming for a potent dose of chemical laced smoke. Lucia is addicted to cigarettes, and has been for the past 12 years. 5 foot 3 Lucia, with her big eyes, big nose, big lips, big chest, but small frame, swiftly moved towards her chair and grabbed her bag which contained a half pack of camel wides, her daily brand. This craving was particularly acute, Lucia’s heart was beating very fast and a cold sweat was starting to cover her entire body. Her breathing was very shallow and in an attempt to calm herself down while waiting for the elevator she tried to breathe deeply but as she was inhaling her throat caught and started a deep wet cough.
Luckily no one else was around when Lucia got onto the elevator and by this point the anticipation gave her an empty yet heavy feeling in the pathways where her smoke always travelled. All the way from the back of her throat down to her addicted lungs, which lay directly behind her slightly sagged D-cup breasts, she could feel the exact route she wanted the smoke to take, ultimately terminating on her lung tissue, in a deep kiss and a big tight hug from the high-tar smoke.
It has been nearly four hours since Lucia was last able to enjoy a cigarette, and with her 25 a day habit, she wasn’t used to this. She started smoking at the age of 18, just trying drags while drinking in the final months of high school, enjoying the feeling and bumming full smokes throughout that summer. It wasn’t until she went away for college when she bought her first pack, and it was in an uncharacteristically rebellious gesture. Lucia was always a pretty good and proper girl, shy, reserved, and friendly, yet stubborn under the surface. She was beginning to hate her long distance boyfriend so she met another boy that she thought was cute, and he smoked. They had a brief but passionate fling, having multiple intense sexual encounters. This guy didn’t ask her to smoke, but she wanted to be like him, so for a few weeks she started smoking heavily until they flamed out, and she kinda just stopped altogether. Though she maintained her drunk smoking, she didn’t buy another pack until a couple of months later when exam time came, as she was very stressed and wanted an adult way to deal with it. Lucia smoked throughout exams and as she went back to her parents place for winter break she felt something missing when she couldn’t have a cigarette. The day she got back to college in January she bought a pack, and decided to smoke daily, which she would continue to do for the rest of her life.
As Lucia reached the lobby with the cigarette already in her mouth, she walked out the door shaking. Around the corner to the smoker’s pit she tried to light her lighter but her hands were shaking too much, so she stopped, closed her eyes, and took one deep breath. When she flicked her lighter and its flame touched the end of her cig, she steadily breathed in with her lips pouting out and sealed around the orange filter. She made an audible groan of relief as she opened her mouth very wide to reveal her protruding pointed tongue and violently sucked the smoke deep into her chest cavity. With her eyes closed, she bit her lower lip as she felt her lungs soak up the harmful chemicals for a few seconds before she softly exhaled with her nose. After repeating this for her next two breaths she could feel a fog lift away from the back of her brain as nicotine enveloped her nerves releasing dopamine. The only good thing about not smoking for this long was that the nicotine buzz approached similar glorious heights to those first few months when her addiction was developing and tightening its lifelong grip on her entire body. From her toes to her fingers, her brain to her bum, her wrists to her stomach, each part of her body relied on cigarettes to function.
She sat down on the bench, lifted her hot long cherried cigarette to her mouth and started puffing away, long, deep, and hard. Within two minutes it was down to the filter and after disposing of it, she let out a cute micro-cough and throat-clear before reaching into her pack to continue the chain. She took more time with this one as the stress of the craving melted away, however her drags were no less deep, and holds no less long. Lucia really savored the taste of the tobacco, running her tongue across her teeth in between drags, naively thinking that sucking on her teeth would also help get rid of the yellow discoloration that has built up over the past dozen years.
When she started smoking at the age of 18, Lucia looked quite young for her age, she was a small girl with big round perky breasts, dark thick flowing hair and a radiant smile. Approaching 30 years old, she was still beautiful, but she now looked old for her age. To the untrained eye it would be tough to tell she was a smoker up until about four years ago as deep wrinkles started to set in, and her teeth became quite yellowed. Her olive skin was greyed around her face, with two long Karşıyaka Escort deep lines running from the side of her lips to her chin.
It was four years ago in Europe that she stopped being just a regular smoker, she became a heavy smoker obsessed with feeding her addiction. To Lucia, her cigarette addiction was more than just physical to nicotine and tar, it was almost spiritual. She felt an energy force in her core as if her addiction was a physical entity centred at the bottom of her rib cage, under her upturned nipples, just to the right of her heart. Every time she smoked she fed this area, and often needed a couple cigarettes to fully stave off its requirements.
Lucia was fiercely protective over her smoking addiction, and since Europe she has found pleasure in the perverse elements of cigarette smoking. Most smokers know how much the habit chips away at their health and try to put it to the back of their mind, but Lucia actively tries to enhance this aspect. Taking extremely deep drags and holding the smoke inside of her chest for maximum absorption has increased her respiratory issues, she coughs and cannot run anymore, but this was just the start.
Due to her crippling social anxiety, Lucia uses cigarettes in pretty much any situation. Throughout her 20’s, she has become increasingly obsessed with finding ways to get more out of each cigarette. At a time like this, when there is a deep full body craving she usually holds her cigarette at the crux of her index and middle fingers right at the knuckle with the filter sticking a few milimeters out so she when she puts it in her plump lips to drag she wraps her hand around her face and sucks in hard. When she draws a large amount of smoke off of the cigarette she will take her hand away from her face and open her mouth extremely wide to sharply suck the smoke down her throat into the crater of her hungry chest as she finishes it off with sticking her tongue out to savor the smoke taste.
When did she become such a lung slut? Lucia didn’t quite know why smoking was so important to her but she knew that smoking was the answer. She believes in smoke as a way to heal and destroy. Nothing would ever get her to stop. She thought of what she would do over the weekend, and realized she had no plans again. Lucia is a lonely girl, but at least she would go home and relax with her best friends, a full pack of camel wides. She loved smoking best alone at home, no one to judge her for her unique and intense smoking routine.
—–
After she had her three straight cigarettes Lucia went back inside to wrap up the work week. It seemed as though most people were checked out after that long meeting, so she only had about an hour left before she was able to step outside and head home to unwind on a Friday night. Always keeping track of the amount left in her pack she knew she needed more for the weekend, as there was only one pack left in her carton at home in addition to the six left in her current pack, which was freshly opened this morning. She walked with her lit Wide and finished it outside of the shop as she hated wasting any drags. She lit another cigarette after buying her carton and walked the couple blocks to her coffee stand so she could buy her 4th coffee of the day before it closed. Having an addictive personality, coffee was just one of Lucia’s many compulsions.
When Lucia arrived home three cigarettes later, she took off her shoes lied on the couch and lit the last cigarette of her pack. She loved to smoke lying down, she felt she could really open her airways and feel the chemical properties weaseling their way into every little corner of her addicted body. She loved Friday nights when she could train herself to smoke more efficiently and destructively. Not having any obligations the next day to get worried and anxious about she would allow herself to smoke slow, hard, and very deep.
After ordering a tempura dinner on her phone, she walked over to the bathroom and put on the shower. She looked at her body in the mirror. Lucia’s eyes were slightly sloped down to the outside and puffy, she had an exotic look to her. Her long shiny black hair was the only outward part of her that still looked healthy, as her facial skin was discolored and wrinkled. Well her body was alright too. She was curvy but small and light, not much extra pudge. She never exercised so she did have a touch of sag to her butt and breasts and tummy , though they were still very shapely.
When she finished her shower she threw on a t shirt and sweats with no undies. Lucia was a bit hungry and her food came just in time. She was really happy to finish dinner so she could do her favourite Friday night activity. Smoke cigarettes, eat a weed cookie, open a bottle of wine and just fucking goon out. She loved to zone out for hours while smoking and rubbing herself. Every week it seems like she sunk deeper and deeper into this pattern. Her cigarette addiction was the only thing about her that stood on a rock solid foundation, it was unshakable. She had no other identity, as she was shy to socialize, didn’t provide Karşıyaka Escort Bayan any substance in other conversations, didn’t really hold strong opinions. Lucia just wanted to smoke and be by herself, and gooning was beginning to fit in very well. Turning off her brain like this helped to melt away the debilitating anxiety that she attempted to medicate with constant nicotine infusions into her blood stream. This served to increase her anxiety long term though, as she became more reliant on smoke as her only means of self medicating, feeling nervous and scared if she didn’t have cigarettes on her or she went too long without a smoke.
So she lied on the couch with the ashtray handy and lap top on her stomach, bottle and glass of wine within reach, and her weed high kicking in. She smoked 12 cigarettes in 2.5 hours without moving from that position when she took off her shirt and pants and just rubbed herself and moaned. She was tipsy and quite stoned at this point. Her chest hurt, and she liked it that way. All she could feel was herself, the liquor’s bit of euphoria, the weed’s floating, her genitals wet and eager, all with a constant flow of thick full flavor cigarette smoke bombarding her lung passage diminishing her health. Her large breasts were being shaken and flopped around by her hands, a bit of self smacking. The air in her small apartment was thick with smoke.
She kept going, and there was a low level pathetic moan almost like a hum that was coming out of her body, her throat and mouth and lips were dry, and she drifted like this until she heard birds chirping at the back of her mind and the dawn emerged. She woke up a few hours later on the couch in the same position, browser open to porn, dry ash remained from her rubbing it on her nipples and stomach. As soon as she opened her eyes, her chest had a reaction to blast out all of the filth she assaulted her body with in a disgusting coughing fit. Her hands were shaking uncontrollably and her mouth was completely dry. She crawled over to the tap to dry to get down a few sips of water, and managed a couple small gulps. Crawling back to the table on all fours she frantically reached for her camel pack but she couldn’t even pick it up her whole body was shaking so violently. She collapsed onto the floor and tried breathing in deeply as the percussive sounds of her limbs hitting the floor started to wane, she coughed out a bunch of shit from her body, and finally was able to take that light-up and restart the day’s cycle.
Lucia was a mess. As she continued to shorten her life and increase her respiratory problems by ensuring her inhaled cigarette smoke clings to the inside of her chest cavity, she checked her phone and saw an email from Darius. Darius. She couldn’t believe it, and her shaking came back. Her heart beat quickened and she took an incredibly long six second pull and screamed in the inhale with her jaw wide open and her tongue flickering out and in to push the filth into her body. She held it for a solid 15 seconds, even sucking some air through her teeth to kick it back down and punish her tar sacs, before softly exhaling through her big wide nose.
She will see Darius tonight, and despite her anxiety and general discomfort she felt in her own body, she was determined to make herself into enough of a presentable human so that she could get dropped down to the bottom again. She knew Darius liked to be in control, and he knew what Lucia loved. She would build herself up into a hot girl tonight so she can be knocked down hard, and she can swim in the sweet pain of being humiliated and brutalized.
—–
Lin felt bad for Lucia. She seemed so sad, always quietly doing her job at her desk and going down for more cigarette breaks than she could count. Lin knew that just a few years ago Lucia was drop dead gorgeous, and even though she was still structurally beautiful, she seemed to have given in to all the harmful aspects of smoking, including its erosion of social capital. Lucia bought into her idea that nobody wanted to talk to the dirty smoker, so she didn’t engage with others. Lin herself though smoked a pack of marlboro mediums a day, but she was on sociable terms with their co-workers, and how was it that Lucia looked so much older and unhealthier than Lin even while being a decade younger?
Lin was going on a quarter century since she first tried a cigarette. Having grown up with a chainsmoking father and a closet smoking mother – older brother starting along the way as well – it was natural she would settle into a habitual nicotine addiction. The paradox was that many men like her father and brother smoked, while Chinese women like her and her mother would be looked down among more traditional circles. Well it didn’t matter to Lin, she was born in the states, and though she had Chinese features she felt American, and the freedom and individualism was a big factor in her choosing to smoke.
On this particular Saturday morning Lin spotted Lucia from across the street violently sucking on the last of her long cherried cigarette before stepping Escort Karşıyaka into the neighborhood coffee shop. She smoked with such desperation, and a focus that enabled her to miss Lin from just a few feet away as she came towards her. She noticed Lin in the shop and nervously said hello as Lucia ordered her XL red eye and Lin her small black coffee. As they moved to get their lids Lucia dumped a few tablespoons of cream and sugar in her red eye, and Lin suggested they have a cigarette together on the bench outside. Lucia smiled meekly and followed her out. Lin turned around when they got outside to see Lucia with her cigarette hanging out of her big lips, and she noticed up close how pallid her skin looked. Lin also noticed how sloppily put together she was. Her full, round, yet low slung tits were flopping around braless in her grey tank top, nipples visible pointed up to the sky. She also wore tattered blue sweat pants that were just tight enough to see her bum shake lightly as she walked. Lucia was so concerned with how she was perceived in her actions that she didn’t even realize what a slob she looked like. However, she did have absolutely stunning thick and silky black hair that was tied up loosely in a high ponytail. Lin was in her casual jogging gear – though her lungs were not up to the challenge – tight nike sports top and thin yoga pants that accentuated her thin yet shapely moon butt, and clean camel toe in the center of her thigh gap.
Lucia lit up before they sat down and took a very long double pump before storing the drag in her lungs for many seconds. Lin lit up with her usual steady style of cheek hollowing drag and tight snap, exhaling with a rounded mouth after a couple seconds of swirling around her lungs. Lucia treated her cigarette differently, as she alternated between fast, neurotic deep puffs and sizable swigs of her caffeine.
Lin noted how great of a combo cigarettes and coffee was, and Lucia meekly agreed and smiled as she continued to annihilate her camel wide. She looked so tired, thought Lin, she really would be beautiful if she took better care of herself.
Lin lightly and jokingly suggested they should quit, with that Lucia’s face froze and she started shaking her head. Lin laughed and told her she was just kidding. Lucia said she will be turning 30 next week, and Lin responded by asking her how much she smokes per day.
Lucia, with a lungful of smoke, softly noted it was well over a pack a day. Lin really wanted to help her out somehow. She asked Lucia if she has any plans this weekend and she replied she was meeting an old friend who is in town. Lin reached out to ask for her number and if she wanted to have a drink some time, so they exchanged contacts. She wished her all the best and they will see each other at work on Monday.
Lin walked back to her apartment, feeling weirdly sad for Lucia. Well, it was time she attempted a work out of some sort, for a smoker approaching 40 Lin tried to take good care of herself. Her creamy skin was still quite good save for a few minor wrinkles around the eyes and mouth. Her teeth were a bit yellow, though not as bad as Lucia’s, and for a 5’6 Asian woman with a small C cup and a tight slender frame her body looked about 10 years younger. She wondered if she would be able to get Lucia to open up if they went out for a glass of wine or two; poor girl.
—–
Lucia was able to relax a little bit once she got alone, though Lin made her feel good. Despite Lucia’s nervousness, Lin was very friendly and made her feel comfortable by having a cigarette together and asking that they hang out some time. However, right now it was important she focus, there were 8 or 9 hours until she was to meet Darius for dinner at a nice restaurant near his hotel in the middle of downtown, and she thought she should nap a little since she was still mentally drained and zoned out from her gooning. And plus, she had a feeling it was going to be a late night.
She got back into her apartment surprised to feel her lungs hurting and slightly out of breath from her short walk back up the hill. She gave a few blasts from her chest so she could clear space for the smoke from her sixth cigarette of the young day. Lucia was possessed, her scary nicotine fit from yesterday (blurred vision, nausea, cold sweats, palpitating heart, and trouble breathing) triggered a primal response in which she has been devouring smoke at an even more extreme and unhealthy rate. Her body felt terrible, pains and aches and she was certain she had mild nicotine poisoning. She started to sweat and felt very hot so she took off her shirt. Sick with nicotine, sick without it. There was 29 year old Lucia, sitting topless hunched over with her curved spine and bad posture, taking a cilia-killing rip of her camel wide before eating the smoke into her tattered chest. She didn’t wanna breathe it out as she idly sat there brain dead, shaky hand holding her cigarette a few inches below her 34D cups so the smoke coming off the lit cherry kissed her nipples – which were staring right back at their vessel of destruction. Nothing in the world could make her quit. Even though she sometimes hated the way it made her feel, she loved that she hated it. She felt she was taking an active part of building something, even if that something was the physical and psychological addiction which was rapidly ravaging her system. A vicious cycle, on and on and on and on and…
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