The Judgment of Sgt. J “Chapter 2: Darkness closes in on Kay”

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The Judgment of Sgt. J “Chapter 2: Darkness closes in on Kay”

After my long shower, I sat in the bathroom thinking about what I had done. It might have been wrong however, it was the only way that I could support my daughter Sherri and myself. I also figured that Cathy would get over it as well.

The days turned to weeks and I kept doing what I was. I dressed sexy as possible each day for work and extra sexy on Fridays for Jack and his clients. The money I made in tips was enough to get what we needed. I was also able to start putting money into the bank.

I also had become addicted to a few things. One was dressing sexy which I did not only for work but for my everyday life as well. I loved the catcalls I got from men when I walked down the street. I loved to tease as I shopped at the stores. I also took up drinking which will only lead me to problems later in life.

My worst addict turned out to be sex. I craved sex and I did not care whether it was with a man or woman. Cathy and I were still having fun together but that was about to change. It was midweek and Cathy was at work while Sherri was in school.

It was a lovely day in May with the sun shining brightly. I decided to go to the grocery store to pick up a few things. I slipped on a pair of short shorts, a low cut tank top with a built in bra and a pair of sandals. I made sure you could see plenty of tits both when I bent over or just normal cleavage when standing straight. I drove to the store and parked my car.

I no sooner got out of the car than an older man was checking my tits out as I walked by him. I stopped and turned to look at him to find he was still staring at me probably checking out my butt. I smiled at him as I bent over pretending to adjust my sandals. When I did, my tits fell forward in my tank top. I could see down it so I knew he was getting a nice shot of the girls as I bent down.

I smiled at him as I turned back around and walked into the store. I stopped to see if he had followed me however, he had not. His loss I thought as I walked up and down the aisles getting what I needed. I decided to get a bottle of wine so I went to the beer and wine section of the store. When I got there, I noticed a man about nineteen or twenty as he was picking up a twelve pack of beer. I went to the wines where I bent over to the bottom self as I did I glanced back at him to see that he was checking my ass.

The man moved closer until he was standing next to me. He was pretending to check out the wine however, his eyes were looking down my tank top. I bent over giving him a long hard look at the girls as they hung in my tank top. When I stood back up one of the girls did not return to the inside of my tank top.

I looked down at my tit that was hanging out at him. The man was standing there with his mouth hanging open. I scooped my tit back into my tank top as I smiled at him.

“Sorry about that they have a mind of their own sometimes,” I said to him giving a little laugh.

The man smiled as he replied, “And a lovely mind they have,” giving a little laugh.

I looked down to the jogging pants he had on; the front of them were bulging out from his crotch area. The man had popped a boner while he was checking my ass and my tits.

I smiled as I said, “Looks like that has a mind of his own as well,” as I licked my lips.

The man turned a little red in his face then slipped the beer he was holding to the front of his jogging pants. The beer was now hiding his boner from me. I felt my pussy start to twitch and get wet as I stood there. When my pussy did that it meant it needed some cock.

I walked over to him until I was right beside him as I said, “If you like I could take care of that for you,” pushing the twelve pack from his boner. I walked a little ways past him then turned back around to him as I added, “Just follow me to my car if your interested,” as I walked to the check out line.

The man was in line right behind me. I checked out then went to my car with him in tow. I tossed my stuff into my trunk before I opened my driver door. He was just standing there as I got into my car.

“Well get in the other side,” I said to him as I closed my door.

The man ran to the passenger side and hopped into my car. He sat his beer down onto the floor of my car. He had no sooner sat the beer down than his hands went to my tits. He was rubbing and squeezing at them with both hands. He finally freed them from my tank top as he pinched my nipples hard between his forefinger and his thumb.

As he played with my tits, I ran my hand to his cock. I grabbed at it through his jogging pants. His cock was rock hard and it seemed huge as my hand squeezed at it. I rather pushed his hands from my tits and I leaned over putting my head into his lap. I pulled his jogging pants down over his hard cock. I sat back up quickly when I saw his cock.

“God damn that’s a big fucking dick,” I screamed.

The man pulled his jogging pants back over his cock and gave me a sad look as he replied, “I understand most girls are afraid of it,” as he looked away from me.

“I said it was a big fucking dick not that I was afraid of it,” I said. “Come home with me and I will show you,” I added as I started my car.

The man smiled and we drove to my house. On the way I told him my name and found out his was Andy. He was a college student attending the local college. He was from Texas, which made sense with a piece of meat like that between his legs.

Andy seemed a little shy and he explained he has never gone all the way with a woman before. He told me most women were afraid of his cock, I told him I had never seen one that big in person before but I was not afraid of it. I reached over and gave that hard cock another feel as I drove us to my house.

By the time we got there my jean, shorts were wet with my juices. I jumped from my car as I told Andy to follow me. I led him straight to the bedroom, Cathy and mine bedroom that is. I told him to get undressed as I did the same. I turned around after I had removed my clothes to find him standing there naked his huge hard cock dancing in front of him.

I pushed him back onto the bed and climbed between his legs. My face was right at his huge cock. I wrapped my hand around it and started to pump my hand up and down it. I added my other hand around it and noticed there was still cock sticking up from both my hands.

“Damn just how big is your cock?” I asked Andy.

“It is only ten inches,” Andy replied.

I started to pump on his cock with both my hands as I thought only ten inches. I lowered my head to his cock and used my tongue to lick at the head of his cock while I pumped at it with my hands. His cock started to leak pre- cum right away. I should say his pre- cum flowed from the head of his cock.

I licked at it as it did, as I love the taste of it. I took his dick head into my mouth and sucked at it getting all of his pre-cum that flowed from it. His cock was long but not very thick. It also curved upward about half way up his cock. I started to slowly work my head up and down his cock.

“AHhhhh shit that feels good,” Andy moaned from the bed.

I kept bobbing my head up and down on his cock working more of it into my mouth. I almost had it all in my mouth when I felt like I was going to choke. I removed my mouth from his cock wiping his trailing pre-cum from my lips as I caught my breath.

“That was more than anyone has ever taken into their mouth,” Andy said smiling at me.

I pumped at his cock with my hand as I replied, “Let’s see how much will fit in my other hole.”

I climbed on top of him and placed his cock at my wet pussy. I slid down onto about half of it then back up it. I was soon sliding my pussy up and down his cock working more of it up inside me each time. I finally got it all up inside of my pussy. I sat there on top of him grinding my pussy back and forth on his huge cock.

I leaned forward as I started to fuck his cock. Andy’s hand went to my tits then he kissed and sucked at them as I rode his cock like a wild woman. His hand went to my butt pulling me up and down on his cock. That curve in his cock was rubbing against my special spot. Pure pleasures started to course through my body.

“AHHhhh fuck,” I moaned out as a powerful orgasm came over me.

My eyes rolled up into my head as my eyes went shut. The world seemed to have stopped as I tingled all over my body. I felt my pussy sucking at his cock as Andy slammed me back down on it. His cock pressing against the back wall of my pussy when he did.

“AHHHH SHIT Kay,” Andy screamed out pulling my butt cheeks apart with his hands.

Andy’s cock swelled in my pussy then jerked as cum splashed deep in my pussy. My own pussy twitched and my juices squirted from it splashing onto his stomach. I had three or four strong orgasm as he filled my pussy full of cum from his huge cock.

I collapsed onto him wrapping my arms around his neck. I lie like that coming back down to earth from my best orgasm ever. His cock slipped from my pussy as his cum ran out in chunks. I rolled from him to see his cum was still running out and down my thighs.

I also saw that there was a wet spot on the bed by his legs. My pussy was still twitching from his cock as his cum poured from it. I was about to tell him his cock was the greatest when I heard.

“WHAT the fuck KAY,” Cathy screamed.

I looked to see her standing by the bed with her hands on her hips. Andy shot from the bed grabbing his clothes as he ran from the room. I got up onto my knees and as I did, my pussy left out a loud long pussy fart spilling the rest of his cum from my pussy.

“DAMN it Kay, if you have to fuck do it somewhere else not in the bed I share with you,” Cathy yelled at me. “Show me some respect even if you don’t show yourself any,” she added.

“I’m sorry,” I replied as I looked at her from the bed.

“No your not you are only sorry you got caught,” Cathy said.

I heard our front door slam as I got off the bed. I ran out to see that Andy had taken off and I did not blame him as Cathy was pissed. Cathy came out and she told me I had better get those man juices off those sheets and the smell of man from her bedroom.

“Cathy, I am sorry I don’t know what came over me,” I replied to her as I went to her.

“Don’t touch me Kay, just don’t touch me,” Cathy said as she pushed me away and ran into the bathroom.

I ran after her but she had locked the door. I asked her to let me in but she told me to leave her alone. I stood outside our bathroom door listening to her crying. I went back to our bedroom got dressed and removed the sheets from our bed. I also had to wipe up cum puddles that had dripped from my pussy onto our bedroom floor. I was putting new sheets onto our bed when Cathy came back into our bedroom.

“You ever bring a man back into my house it has better be to move your shit out,” Cathy said. “You know your daughter will be home any second you are lucky I caught you and not her,” Cathy added in disgust shaking her head.

Cathy was right I had forgotten all about Sherri coming home from school. I ran to the bathroom jumping into the shower. I tried to wash my sins away as I did. However, I also thought how wonderful that fuck with Andy had been.

I finished my shower and I slipped on my robe. I walked into the hallway to see Cathy and Sherri sitting together on the sofa. Sherri was showing her what she had done in school today. I stood there thinking how I could not remember her ever showing me. Cathy had not said it but I know she thought I was a bad mother.

I went into our bedroom and sat down on the bed. I buried my face into my hands crying. My life sucked, I was a common slut as well as an unfit mother. I dressed for work and looked into the mirror; I was just a slut I thought as I sat down crying into my hands on the bed once again. I looked up pulling my face from my hands. I saw Sherri standing in front of me staring at me. Her face was full of worry as she did.

“Mommy, did Cathy hurt you like that man used too?” Sherri asked.

“No sweetie,” “Mommy just does not feel good that is all,” I replied taking her into my arms.

As I held her, I realized she had said that man. She has always refused to call him her father or daddy. I also thought about how she had thought Cathy had hurt me when instead I had hurt Cathy. I sent Sherri from the room telling her I had to get ready to go to work.

“If your sick mommy you should stay home,” Sherri said to me.

“Mommy can’t we have to survive,” I replied.

Sherri started to ask a bunch of questions as she was at that age. I cannot even remember the questions however they were questions I did not want to answer. Her constant questioning was getting on my nerves. I finally had enough of her questions.

“SHERRI, just leave me alone,” I screamed.

Sherri ran from the bedroom into hers. I ran after her only to find she had locked her door. I knocked as I told her I was sorry for yelling at her. I asked her to let me in to talk to her.

“NO, I hate you‘” “You don’t love me and you let that man kill my puppy,”
Sherri screamed from her closed door.

“SHERRI. You let me in right this minute young lady,” I yelled.

“Kay, stop your scaring her,” Cathy said. “You go to work and I will talk to her,” she added.

I did not even look to Cathy I just grabbed my purse and I ran out the door. I drove crying to work. I wiped my eyes before I went inside. One of the girls came over to me and she told me I looked like hell. I explained it had been a rough morning. She opened her purse and she removed a pill bottle from it.

“Here take one of these it will put happy back on your face,” she said.

I took it from her as I grabbed a glass of water. I took it without ever knowing what it was. Whatever it was it sure helped. I was back to flirting with the customers as if nothing had even happened today. That was until near the end of work.

I suddenly did not feel happy anymore. I felt very depressed and so unhappy. My little girl thought I did not love her and my girlfriend no longer wanted me as well. I sat in the parking lot crying until I could cry no more then I drove home. I went into the house and straight to the bathroom.

I turned on the water to take a bath as I looked at myself in the mirror. The person was not I it was someone I did not know. I opened the cabinet behind the mirror and I saw a pack of razor blades. I removed one and I turned the water off in the tub as I climbed into the bath.

I sliced at my wrists with the razor blade. I cut at one wrist then the other. Blood dripped down into the water from both my wrists as I lay my head against the tile on the wall. I closed my eyes waiting for the end to come.

“KAY, WHAT have you done,” Cathy screamed grabbing some towels and wrapping them around my wrists.

I looked up at her as my head started to clear. I told her I had no idea as the last I remember was going into work. Cathy got some gauze and she wrapped my wrists. She told me I was lucky I had not cut them any deeper than I had. Cathy took me out into the kitchen and she made us some coffee. With her help I figured out that the girl had gave me a hit of LSD. When I had came down from my high my depression took over and I wanted to end my life. I cried as I told Cathy my daughter thinks I do not love her.

“My daughter would be better off with you than with me,” I sobbed.

“No Kay, Sherri was just upset,” Cathy said. “Here she even wrote you this,” Cathy added handing me a piece of paper.

It was a letter from Sherri telling me how sorry she was kayseri escort bayan for saying what she had. She asked me to forgive her and hoped I was not mad at her. She had even drawn a picture of her and I walking into a sunset I believed it was hand in hand. It was not until years later that I found out it was not a sunset but was hell as that was where she and I both would soon be.

Cathy and I had a long talk that night. I told her how I felt that I was an unfit mother. Cathy told me that was just an idea that Mark had placed into my head. I told Cathy I seem to hurt or destroy anybody who I met or know. I begged her to take me back. I wanted another chance at showing her I could love only her.

“Kay, you know you can not and will not be true,” Cathy said. “Besides your knight in shining armor is out there you just have not found him yet,” Cathy added.

“Are we at least still friends?” I asked.

“A course Kay friends forever and maybe even lovers again someday,” Cathy replied smiling at me.

The scars on my wrist healed but I never did. I was still an unfit mother in my mind and all I was good at was spreading my legs open for men to use. I accepted those facts and went on with my life if you would call it a life.

I was playing the role of mother behind Cathy to my own daughter. Cathy spent much more time with her than I did. I was to busy making money for us to survive. Which was untrue I was to busy getting fucked which I had grown to love. Only when having an orgasm did I feel happy so I spent most of my time looking for and finding sex.

I went home with customers through the week as well as spending time with Jack’s clients on Friday nights. Jack paid me to sleep with them and his clients always tipped me big when I left them. I also always enjoyed myself with his clients as they were older men and they treated me right.

I even became involved with Jack finally. He had run out of clients one Friday night so it was just him at his table. Jack was waiting for me after work in his car. He took me to a fancy hotel where he and I made passionate love until the early hours of the morning. Jack and I started to see each other regularly; I even fell in love with him.

I thought he had fallen in love with me as well. I stopped seeing everyone except for him and his occasional client. Jack would come to the club each night normally baring some type of gift for me. Maybe a fur coat one night, sexy clothes the next and jewelry all the time never a ring but watches, ankle bracelets and necklaces.

This went on for about four months I was beginning to think that maybe Jack was the man for me. He even told me he loved me and I believed him. One night after some passionate lovemaking, I asked him a question as he cuddled with me in bed.

“Jack, would you like to meet my daughter,” I asked him as I rubbed at his chest.

“Why in the hell would I want to do that?” Jack asked me back.

“Well, I thought we have something between us,” I replied.

Jack jumped from the bed as he said, “All we have is sex together,” as he slipped his pants on and then his shirt.

Jack told me to get dressed he had to get going. I got dressed and Jack took me back to the nightclub and my car. Jack pulled his car into the parking lot as I saw a woman standing behind my car. As Jack pulled up the woman turned.

“You fucking Bastard,” the woman yelled as she picked up a rock and threw it at his car.

Jack sped from the parking lot cussing up a storm. I asked Jack just who was that woman. Jack pulled his car over blocks from the parking lot. Jack turned to me and he shook his head from side to side.

“That was my wife,” Jack said. “Damn it,” Jack yelled as he beat on his steering wheel.

“It’s OK Jack,” “You can divorce her and be with me,” I replied.

Jack looked to me and he replied, “Divorce her and lose everything and for what, a SLUT like you.”

My lips tremble when I heard him call me that. I also could now see clearly into his eyes. Those eyes that told me I never loved you I only used you.

“You were only using me,” I said as I started to cry.

“Hey you were fucking paid good for your services,” Jack replied.

“FUCK YOU JACK,” I screamed as I got out of his car slamming his door.

Jack did not say a word as he drove away leaving me standing there. I walked the three or four blocks to my car thinking about how he had used me for his own gains. I also started to wonder if his wife was still at my car.

I peeked around the corner to see that no one was near my car. I ran to it and I opened the door to find glass all over the inside. The fucking bitch had broken out my rear windshield. A brick lay in the back seat that had a note wrapped with a rubber band, which was fitting, I thought. The note read “See my husband again and I will kill you bitch.”

I never saw Jack again nor did I ever see his wife again. I never told Cathy the truth how my rear window had gotten smashed out, as I did not want her to tell me, “Told you so.” I think she knew but if she did, she never said anything to me.

Beside that, Cathy had her own problems to deal with as she came home early from work a few days later crying. I asked her what was wrong. She told me her brother had committed suicide.

“That Vietnam war had taken another one,” she said as I took her into my arms.

Cathy went back home out west for a few days to be with her family as her and her brother were close. They grew up together as they came from a military family. She never really talked that much to me about her brother other than I knew she thought the world of him. It was summer so I dropped Sherri off at my mom’s when I worked at night and picked her up after work.

I only felt sorry for myself for a few days before I was back to dressing sexy once more for work. I made sure to shy away from the married men even with their rings removed you can still see the marks left behind. About a week later, I was standing by the bar, as my section was slow. A man dressed in bikers clothing came walking in and he sat down at the end of the bar when I was standing.

His name was Joe and he was a regular customer but one that I only knew by name. He had never made a play for me and I never really paid him any attention as he was always sitting at the bar. Joe was 5” 10 or 5’11 he was always dressed in biker’s leather so it was hard to tell what type of body he had under his leathers. Joe turned in his bar seat and he looked at me.

He shook his head as he said, “Man how could Jack fuck over a pretty little girl like you.”

I went over beside him as I asked, “What do you mean?”

“That man used you until he got caught,” Joe replied. “I might add I think it was pretty rotten of him as well,” Joe added as he turned back to the bar.

“That is what all the men in my life have done just used me,” I replied as tears ran down my face.

Joe grabbed a napkin and handed it to me as he said, “Don’t cry it ruins those lovely blue eyes of yours.”

Joe and I talked for a while with him telling me Jack had told him all about how I was winning over his clients for him. Joe told me he should have been giving half of what he was raking in with using me. Joe also told me it was wrong of him to have taken advantage of a pretty girl like me.

When the nightclub closed, I was in the back getting ready to leave and I was thinking how this Joe seemed to be a decent person. However, I had thought Jack was decent as well as Mark. As I walked out to my car, I heard a motorcycle coming across the lot. It was Joe on his motorcycle. He pulled up next to my car and me.

“Joe, what are you doing here?” I asked.

“Just wanted to make sure you got safely to your car, that’s all,” Joe replied. “Night pretty lady,” Joe added as he tipped his head and drove off the lot as I got in my car.

Within the week, Joe and I were dating. Joe never made a pass at me or even kissed me on the first few dates. Then he finally asked me if he could kiss me. It was just a normal kiss and I did not feel any fireworks going off or anything.

“Would you like to meet my daughter?” I asked Joe after that first kiss.

“I would love too,” he replied.

The next day Joe came over to my mom’s house to meet Sherri. She was eight years old and very shy at least I thought that was what it was. I did not know she was terrified of any man at that age. Sherri hung to my side as Joe came up to us on the doorstep.

“You must be Sherri,” Joe said squatting down to her size.

Sherri did not say a word she just squeezed at my leg tighter. I told her it was OK Joe would not harm her. Sherri loosened her grip at my leg as she looked to Joe.

“Please don’t make my mommy cry,” Sherri said before she ran back into the house.

I explained to Joe that she had it rough as a child as my first husband was abusive to us both. Joe shook his head as he told me he could never understand how men could do that. I should have looked into his eyes when he had said those words. If I had, I would have seen his words were nothing but lies.

Joe treated me well and I started to grow fond of him as well. I was not for sure if I was in love with him. However, two months later Joe and I went on a get away weekend and we got married out of state. When I came back, I went home to tell Cathy that I was once again married. As I walked inside Cathy gave me a funny look.

“Kay, you didn’t?” She asked.

I showed her the simple wedding ring as I replied, “Yes I did.”

Sherri came running out and she asked, “What did you do mommy?”

“Joe and I got married he is your new daddy,” I said to her.

Sherri gave me a look of hate as she screamed, “HE IS NOT MY DADDY,” as she ran for her bedroom.

Cathy looked at me as I shook my head from side to side as I said, “Can’t I be happy.”

“At what cost yours or Sherri’s your daughter?” Cathy asked as she headed to Sherri’s room.

“STOP, I will go you are not her mother,” I snapped at her as I walked by her.

I went in and talked to Sherri. I told her Joe was not like that man she knew. I explained to her that Joe makes me feel good and happy. I also explained that I would never let another man harm her in anyway.

“You promise, mommy,” Sherri said.

“I promise and hope to die,” I replied drawing an X on my heart.

Our life with Cathy had ended we parted barely friends. Deep in my heart, I knew from the tears in both their eyes that Cathy and Sherri knew that they probably would never see each other again. I had not even thought about the hours that they had spent together. Cathy had been more of a mother to her than I had the last couple of years.

We moved in with Joe and while his house was nothing fancy, it was still our home. Joe went out of his way to make us both feel welcomed. Sherri even got to where she would at least talk to him sometimes. I thought we were a happy little family within a month. However, Sherri was not yet back to smiling or laughing.

The next month everything started to go to hell. It was my fault as I started to use drugs along with Joe. We smoked weed, did coke together and even shot up heroin a few times. I never left Sherri see me doing any drugs.

One weekend while Sherri was at my mom’s Joe and I went to a bike rally. It was out in the county on some farmland. It was there that I met Bobby a friend of Joe’s. Bobby was our age 25; he was 6’2” with jet-black long hair. He had a well-toned body with muscular arms. My pussy twitched as I checked him out from head to toe.

The three of us went into the near by barn to smoke some weed. This shit was some killer smoke. The three of us were sitting in the loft of the barn high and laughing about how high we were.

“Bobby, just how much of this smoke do you have?” Joe asked.

“A few pounds of it,” Bobby replied. “Why you interested in buying some?” Bobby asked.

“I just might be,” Joe replied as he got up and motioned Bobby to join him.

Bobby and Joe walked over to the corner in the loft. I saw them talking but I could not hear what they were saying. Joe had his back to me, Bobby looked around him, and he smiled at me. I smiled back as I got onto my knees and bent forward a little.

I had on a tank top with a leather-riding vest. My tits hung down as I squeezed them together making them almost fall from my tank top. Bobby had been eyeing my tits since he met me. Every time I smoke weed I get super horny and this time was no difference. I saw the boys shake hand and I sat back up so Joe did not see that I had been showing my tits to Bobby. They walked back over to me.

“Kay you are going to have sex with Bobby for a pound of that weed,” Joe said.

“I am going to what?” I asked, as I was not for sure I had heard him right.

“Stop playing Kay you know your pussy is wet for this man,” Joe replied.

I looked to Bobby as he said, “That is if it is OK with you Kay.”

“I guess if it’s OK with Joe,” I replied.

“Hell I would give her to you for a kilo of this shit,” Joe said as he sat down rolling another joint from the bag Bobby had given him.

Bobby came over to me and he lied down next to me pulling my face into his. Our lips touch as we kissed. It was a gentle loving kiss and one, which I felt in my pussy. He broke our kiss as he removed my riding vest. His hands pulled my tank top from the jeans I had worn. Bobby lifted the tank top over my head freeing my big tits that were by now 40 c.

Bobby’s hands went to my tits as he rolled them around in his hands. His fingers ran across and around my nipples making them grow hard. Bobby pinched at my hard nipples making them even harder.

“Those are some lovely tits Kay,” Bobby said as he licked at my nipples.

My pussy was purring in my jeans. I had not worn any panties that day in case Joe wanted me to drop my jeans and fuck me. I looked over to Joe to see if he was watching. He was not as he was to busy enjoying the rolled joint.

“AHhh,” I moaned softly as Bobby started to suckle on my tits.

I placed my hand to the front of his leather pants. I rubbed and squeezed at his cock through them. I started to undo his pants as he lay back into the straw on the loft’s floor. I got to my knees as I unbuckled his pants and I pulled them and his under wear down exposing his hard throbbing cock to me.

He had a lovely hard cock it was maybe seven inches long and thick. I wrapped my hand around it and gave if a few pumps. The veins in his cock seemed to fill with more blood making it even thicker. I did not even use my tongue on the head of his cock. I just opened my mouth taking his cock into it.

I started to bob my head up and down on his cock sucking on it as I did. I soon was taking all of his hard cock into my mouth. I would run my tongue out of my mouth dragging it on his cock when I worked my mouth up his cock,

“AHHhhh Fuck girl suck it,” Bobby yelled.

I did as he asked I sucked harder as my head bobbed faster on his cock. I felt a hand going between my legs from behind. It was Joe’s hand he had joined us. Joe’s hand rubbed at my pussy through my jeans.

He removed his hand as he said, “Her pussy has soaked her jeans.”

I felt Joe reaching around me as he undid my jeans. He pulled my jeans down and I moved from my knees so he could remove them. I never took Bobby’s cock from my mouth. Joe slipped one then two fingers into my pussy from behind. He ran them in and out, as the wetness of my pussy filled the barn.

Joe pulled his fingers from my pussy as I felt him getting behind me. Joe placed his cock at my pussy and he slammed kayseri bayan escort it up into me from behind. I moaned onto Bobby’s cock as he did. Joe started to pound my pussy deep and hard making my tits swing wildly under me.

That was about all he was doing for me. Joe was not well hung he had only maybe 5 inches on his best day. His drug use also kept his cock from getting fully hard sometimes and today was no difference. We did not have sex all that often that was OK with me as most of the time I fake my orgasm with him. He treated me good and that was what had mattered. Joe had only been fucking me for maybe three minutes.

“AHHHH fuck yeah,” Joe yelled out as he shoved his cock deeply into my pussy.

I did not even feel him shooting cum into my pussy. However, from the way he was moaning it must have been a good nut. His limp cock slipped from my pussy. I removed my mouth from Bobby’s cock as Joe stood up to the side of me. I looked to Bobby then as I rolled my eyes before I lay on my back.

“Joe, here buddy go get your pound from my truck,” Bobby said tossing him his keys.

Bobby watched him climb down the ladder from the loft. He watched him go outside of the barn. Bobby stood up removed his pants and his cock danced wildly in front of him as he looked down to me. Bobby climbed on top of me as I parted my legs.

“What was that all of two or three minutes” Bobby asked with a little laugh smiling at me.

“Maybe less,” I replied with my own little laugh.

Bobby started to kiss me as I felt his hand go to his cock. He rubbed it at the entrance to my pussy. I spread my legs even wider as the head of his cock went into my pussy. Bobby started to slide his cock in and out of me.

“Fuck me,” “Fuck me like a real man,” I said to Bobby breaking our kiss.

Bobby placed my legs onto his shoulders without removing his cock. He started slowly then built up to a deep steady pace of fucking me. I was getting the best fucking I have had in a long time. My orgasm raced through my body as my head rolled from side to side. Bobby dropped my legs from his shoulders as his arms wrapped around me as he rolled onto his back.

His cock never left my pussy as I was now on top of him. I bounce my pussy up and down on his cock while my tits dangled in his face. He grabbed them with his hands squeezing them together as his tongue licked at my hard nipples.

“Yes suck my tits make me cum all over your cock,” I moaned out as I rode his cock.

Bobby went to suck and licking at my tits. It was if I felt each of his licks in my pussy as he did. I was bouncing wildly on his cock and moaning loudly as well. I pulled my tits away from his mouth as I sat upright on his cock. I rocked back and forth on his hard cock.

“AHHhhhhh Fuck,” I screamed out as another orgasm rocked my body.

My pussy seemed to swell then my juices squirted from my pussy onto his stomach. Bobby’s hands went to my waist and he rocked me gently back and forth on his cock as my orgasm went on for what seemed like forever.

“Get on your hands and knees for me,” Bobby said smiling at me.

I did as he asked. I got onto my hands and knees as Bobby got behind me. He took his cock into his hand beating it against my pussy from under it. I was rocking back toward his cock trying to get it up inside of me. Bobby finally slipped his cock into me from behind. He reached around and played with my swinging tits as he fucked me.

“Yes fuck me,” I screamed out loudly.

Bobby started to pound my pussy hard as he ran his thumb to my asshole. He rubbed at my asshole with his thumb until he slowly worked it up into my asshole. Bobby was thumbing my ass as he drove his cock up into my pussy.

I looked over my shoulder at him as I said, “Fuck me in the butt.”

Bobby pulled his thumb from my asshole at the same time he pulled his cock from my wet pussy. When he removed his cock from my pussy, a loud wet pussy fart came rolling out of it. Booby spit at my asshole hitting it the first try. He placed the head of his cock at my asshole and he gentle pushed it up my asshole.

I have had Cathy’s finger in my ass before but never a cock. Bobby eased it in as I slowly backed up onto it. Bobby left it lie there for a while letting me get used to it. He then started to fuck my butt slowly.

“AHHhhh Bobby.” I cooed out as pleasure over took my body.

Bobby started to butt fuck me faster and deeper. He was soon giving my butt all of his cock. I lost track of how many orgasms I had while he butt fucked me. Bobby slammed his cock deep into my asshole holding it there.

“AHHHhh FUCK KAY,” Bobby yelled.

His cock throbbed and jerked as it filled my asshole with cum from his cock. I collapsed with his cock still in my ass and him on top of my back. He kissed and licked at the back of my neck.

“Damn girl now that was a fuck,” Bobby whispered into my ear before he withdrew his cock from my ass.

I just lay there feeling his cum dripping from my asshole as I caught my breath and he was right that was one hell of a fuck. I heard Bobby slipping his pants on and as I rolled over, I saw Joe standing there. Bobby went over to him as I grabbed my clothes and got dressed quickly wondering just how long he had been standing there.

“Thanks dude, I will swap you weed for a piece of that anything,” Bobby said to Joe before he climbed down the loft’s ladder.

Joe waited until Bobby was gone and then he turned to me as he said, “You fucking enjoyed that you fucking whore.”

“Joe you were the…” was all I got out of my mouth before the back of his hand landed across my face.

Joe stood over top of me as I cowered on the floor. He yelled and cussed at me calling me nothing but a fucking tramp. He told me he saw how I enjoyed the fucking Bobby was giving me.

“Only a true fucking whore would take a cock in her ass,” Joe said to me. “Now get your fucking ass to the bike we are leaving,” Joe added.

On the way home, Joe pulled over and he told me he was sorry. He did not mean anything he had said to me. He told me that weed had made him crazy.

Like a fool, I believed him. That was only the beginning of his abuse to me. I was planning on leaving him when things had not improved. However Joe stopped me with his threat that came a week or two later when he came home and found me packing my bags. Sherri was at my mom’s and I was packing our bags and going to join her there. Joe came into the bedroom as I opened the suitcase.

“What the fuck do you think your doing?” Joe asked angry and loud.

“I am leaving you,” I replied turning to him.

Joe slapped me across my face. Then he grabbed me by my shirt throwing me up against the wall. He punched at me with his fists knocking me to the floor where he kicked at me with his boots.

“KAY, stop,” I yelled to her as my typing stopped. “I get the picture,” I added.

“But why did you let him?” I asked already knowing the answer.

“Joe told me he would harm Sherri if I ever left him or told anyone of his abuse,” I said to John. “I could probably get good money for her as a sex slave, Joe told me,” I added.

“Go on Kay but just what you had told him,” I said to her as I prepared to type once more.

I told Joe if he promised to leave Sherri alone, I would do anything he asked of me and that he could do anything he wanted to me. Joe told me that meant I would have to take Sherri’s beatings as well.

“Anything Joe just please leave my daughter out of it,” I begged him.

“It’s a deal you fucking bitch,” Joe snapped back.

To prove his point Joe ripped the shorts I had worn from my body. He threw me onto the bed face down. I heard the belt as he pulled it from his pants. Then I felt the taste of leather against my ass. Joe smacked at my ass with his belt as he told me this was for her never calling him daddy.

The whipping from his belt stopped as I heard his pants unzip. I then felt his finger at my asshole. Joe pushed his finger deep into my asshole as I buried my face into the pillow on the bed. Joe added more fingers to my asshole as he slipped them in and out of it. He withdrew his fingers and replaced them with his cock.

I cried into the pillow on the bed not because his cock was hurting my butt. It was because of what I had gotten myself involved with once more. I cried more wondering just how long I could keep him away from Sherri.

Joe was not the man I thought he was. He was just like most of the men I seemed to attract to me. These men were always total losers as well as abusers. To ease my personal pain as well as the pain Joe gave to me I turned to using drugs with him. Joe worked nights so he was not normally home when Sherri was as this had taken place when school was in session.

As for weekends, I took Sherri over to my mom’s claiming I had a job on the weekends. Which I did have one. However, my job was flat backing for Joe. He took appointments from men willing to pay him to have sex with me. He even took some pictures of me in sexy dress without my bruises to show them what they were buying.

At first, I hated it but as time went by, I started to enjoy it as most of the men loved being with me. Besides it was a lot better having sex with them than with Joe. He had so far kept his end of the deal as well. He never laid his hands on Sherri. Then he was not around her much neither what with working nights.

Sherri kept asking me how I got the bruises, the cuts and even a broken arm once. I lied to her each time Joe caused me harm. I was afraid if I told her the truth, she would tell my mom or Cathy. I so afraid of what Joe would do to my little girl. I had to be insane for doing what I was allowing him to do to me however at least Sherri was not on the receiving end of it.

I ran into Cathy once at the store. I had on dark sunglasses as I had a fresh black eye. Cathy did not preach at me. She simply took a hold of my hand.

“Kay, you deserve better, leave while you can before it is too late,” Cathy said to me giving me her new phone number in case I needed it.

Her phone number cost me a broken arm as Joe twisted it until I told him just whom the number belonged too. As Mark had, Joe told me I was not to see or go near Cathy or something may just happen to Sherri.

I threw her phone number away and if I would see her out, I would go the other way. My life was so screwed up the only time I was happy was when strange men I did not even know had sex with me. I wanted to just grab Sherri and run but I had nowhere to go or no one that could protect her and me if I did.

I just accepted the fact this was how my life was to be. I prayed and hoped someone would run Joe over on his bike someday. I even started to steal cash from his drug money as well as taking tips from the men who paid for sex with me.

For some reason many of the men wanted me to squat over their faces or their cocks and pee on them. I had no problem with doing what they wanted for if I did not they would tell Joe that and he would punish me for not doing as they asked of me. His hitting of me slowed at least to where he was not leaving marks. As Joe put it, “Men want a fair skinned women not a bruised one.”

Sherri withdrew within herself around this time. She barely spoke to me and never to Joe. She just sat in her bedroom drawing in her artist pad. I was so high on drugs that I did not even notice how unhappy she was as well as how unhappy I was. If only I would have looked into her drawing book and seen what she had been drawing.

One day Joe came home and he told me to pack our bags we were moving to Colorado. He told me that he was going to work with his brother. On our way out there, Joe told me the truth. The cops were after him for a drug deal.

We found a place and Joe knew some drug dealers who traded my services for a start at selling drugs out there. When school started, Joe would not allow me to send Sherri to school. Joe was not working. All he did was sell drugs. When he ran low on drug money, he decided I could make him money. Joe sold my body to friends or anyone who wanted me.

“You used to make good money for Jack, now you’re my fucking slut,” Joe said to me.

Joe even brought me some fancy clothes telling me the better I dressed the more money I could make him. It did not make any difference, as I no longer had a mind of my own mainly due to the drugs he was giving me. I was simply his to do whatever he wanted too.

One day Joe took me off those drugs telling me men did not like my zombie like body anymore. When I got the drugs from my system, I realized it was only a matter of time before Joe went after Sherri. I put a padlock on the outside of her bedroom door and I would lock her in her room if I had to go out on a date while Joe was at home.

I know it was cruel of me but I thought she would be safe and I always made sure she had everything she needed in her room until I came home. I came home one night to find Sherri’s door pushed in but still locked. I unlocked her door to find her hiding in the corner.

“Make the bad man go away,” Please make him go away,” Sherri screamed as I held her.

“HEY BITCH,” Joe yelled.

I turned to see him standing in the doorway with his backpack in his hand. Joe told me he was leaving and that we were free to do what ever as the law was closing in and we were only unwanted baggage to him now. I buried Sherri’s face into my shoulder as I buried mine into her back. I was waiting to hear the gunshots and Joe to pull the trigger on the gun he owned that he always kept in his backpack. I closed my eyes hoping that it would be over quickly for us both.

All I heard was the sound of his motorcycle starting up and leaving. I told Sheri to pack a few things as I ran up to my room. I packed some clothes and I removed the money I had hidden from Joe. I drove the piece of shit car I had to Denver Airport and I had just enough money to fly us both back home.

I called my mom and asked her to come pick us up at the airport when we got home. It was at Denver airport that I noticed how Sherri would get closer to me anytime a man walked by her. I sat in the airport with her cuddled up next to me, she would close her eyes each time a man walked by. I felt ashamed of myself for what she had been through already in her life. I cried into my hands until I felt Sherri’s arms around me. I looked over to her.

“Its OK mommy I still love you,” Sherri said as she kissed my forehead.

Some how that made me feel a little bit better. Sherri cuddled up to me and she fell asleep. I am not for sure if she slept when locked in her bedroom. She might have always been as I found her that night hiding in the corner. I swore to myself as I brushed my hand through her long blonde hair I was never going to trust or love a man ever again. I have had enough of men.

On our flight home, I thought about what I was going to do. I had no skills to speak of other than spreading my legs. My daughter needed help dealing with the issues she had locked away but I knew not how to get her the help she needed.

My mother did not say much as she drove us to her house from the airport. We arrived at her house where I put Sherri to bed and returned to talk to my mother in the kitchen. I explained to her what had happened.

“How could you put that little girl through such pain?” My mother asked.

At the time, I did not have an answer to give to her. She must have realized I was hurting as much as Sherri was because she came to me and wrapped her arms around me. She told me everything would be OK. My mother held me rocking me in her arms. The main thing was that we both were now home and safe.

My mom gave me some money she had saved up and the next day Sherri and I went shopping. The only clothes we owed were the little bit we had thrown into our bags before going to the airport. We were in our local Kmart looking at the clothes. Sherri would squeeze my hand and move closer to me any time a man passed us by.

“Kay, is that you?” Cathy asked as she walked up to Sherri and me.

Sherri ran to her wrapping her arms around Cathy’s legs as she yelled, “Cathy, I have missed you so.”

I stood there thinking maybe I should just leave Sherri with her and run away. My daughter would soon be nine years old, I had only given her nine years of terror, and despair instead of the love a mother should. I did not realize then the damage mentally my daughter suffered by what I had allowed others to do to me. She was terrified of men because of the hell the men in our life had done to her and to me. I had made a mess of not only my life but hers as well.

“KAY, hey girl I am talking to you,” Cathy said shaking me by my arm.

“Sorry I was lost somewhere,” I replied looking to the floor.

Sherri looked at me as she asked, “Mommy are we going to live with Cathy again?”

I raised my eyes from the floor as I looked into Cathy’s eyes. I saw that the love she once held in her eyes for me was not there. I knew there was no chance of us getting back together at least not as lovers. Cathy stared into my eyes as I stared into hers.

Cathy said, “Let’s go out Friday night and we will talk,” as she took my hand into hers.

I shook my head yes, as I replied, “OK,” wiping the tears from my eyes.

Sherri looked up to Cathy as she said, “That is all mommy does is cry,” as she came back to me wrapping her arms around my legs.

Cathy told us she would see us on Friday. We went our separate way as Sherri and I finished shopping. The next day I went job hunting and I came home after putting many applications in but no real prospects of getting a job. The following day I went down and signed up for food stamps and assistance. I only told the welfare people of my husband abandoning us not of the abuse he had dished upon us.

Friday came and Cathy came to pick me up at my moms. Sherri ran to her once more when she walked into the house. In the last few days, my daughter hardly talked to me. She just sat in her bedroom. I kept asking her if she wanted to talk but she would just shake her head no. My daughter seemed to hate me in some ways. I could not blame her for what she had been through as it was my entire fault.

Sherri came from Cathy over to me as she said, “Look mommy a new fancy drawing pad.”

Cathy had gotten her a drawing pad that came in its own little hardback shell. I made sure she thanked Cathy for it. Sherri did and she started to go to her bedroom then stopped and came back to me. Sherri tugged at my pants I had worn and motioned me down to her level.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and she whispered in my ear, “You go have fun mommy grandma will see that I am safe,” then kissed me on my cheek.

I was in tears as Cathy walked me to her car. She drove us to a quiet little bar and we went inside. We sat in a booth together as I explained what had happened in my life during the last year. I explained to Cathy how everything was going well until the threesome I had with Joe and Bobby. I told her of the abuse at Joe’s hand as well as how he sold my body to others for money.

“Kay, how could you allow this to happen?” Cathy asked me.

I told her of my deal with Joe if he would leave Sherri alone then added, “Because I have no will of my own,” “I am not only a bad mother but also a bad person,” as I broke down crying.

Cathy gave me comfort telling me it was not my fault. I had only done what I had to in order to protect Sherri. Cathy asked me if Joe had ever done anything to Sherri. I informed her no as I used to lock her up in her room when I left her with Joe.

“YOU did what?” Cathy asked.

It suddenly hit me upon hearing her question. I had imprisoned my own child. I did so to protect her and now I knew why she spent all of her time in her bedroom at my mom’s place. That was where she felt safe.

“Please don’t hate me Cathy,” I replied begging.

Cathy took me into her arms as she said, “I don’t hate you Kay.”

I would not have blamed her if she had. I found out later that night that Cathy now shared custody of her twin girls with her ex-husband. The girls lived with Cathy during school time and spent the summer with their father. Cathy had gotten married when she was 18 and had twins the same year. She had gotten divorced two years later and her husband had custody of the twins. I had never asked Cathy why she had divorced him or not been given the twins. I always thought when she was ready she would tell me why.

I knew there was no chance of Cathy and I returning to what we once had, not with her sharing custody of the twins. Cathy also informed me she was back to dating men but most were losers. She had no sooner said that to me than a man walked up to us at our booth.

“Could I buy you ladies a drink?” The man asked.

“We are gay, leave us alone,” Cathy replied putting her arm around me.

The man had a shocked look on his face and shook his head from side to side, as he walked away. Cathy and I both gave a little laugh. The first laugh I had left out in a long time. We talked the rest of the night at the bar as well at my mom’s house. I wanted to take her into my arms and make sweet love to her in hope the nightmare was finally over and finished. However, Cathy and I only became good friends again but not lovers.

I enrolled Sherri back into school and in a couple of months; she seemed like a normal nine-year-old girl. She made some new friends and enjoyed going skating with them. Skating was something her and I used to do together all the time but had not since I had met Joe. I found a job-cleaning house that paid me under the table. It was not much but I managed to buy Sherri a new pair of roller skates which she loved. She even became unafraid of men except for ones she thought were bad men.

That had come about when I decided to go on a double date with Cathy. I had told Sherri I was going out on a date tonight and she had the look of worry on her face when I did. My date showed up and I was not ready as Sherri came into my bedroom. She had a look on her face so I asked her if something was wrong.

“You be careful mommy his eyes tell me he is a bad man,” Sherri said then ran to her bedroom.

I walked by her room when I was finished dressing. Sherri was lying on her bed drawing in her artist pad. I did not disturb her as I went by her room. Sherri was right about that man as I had to keep moving his hands from everywhere on my body. I was not ready for another man to touch me yet.

I dated a few people here and there but I really was not interested in any of them. In fact, I felt uncomfortable around them. Most of them tried to get into my pants but I would not let any of them touch me. I started to tell them right away that I had been through two abusive relationships up front during our talk when I met them.

I would have them meet Sherri when they picked me up for our date. I was always running late when my dates came to pick me up as I am never on time. Sherri would always come into my room before I left. Sometimes she would tell me they are too old for me, to fat for me. Some she would tell me, mommy his eyes tell me that he is a bad man.

I even got to where I could tell as she had about the man I was with by looking into their eyes. I was not sure if it was a gift or a curse as I may have turned many good men away when I saw what may have been evil in their eyes.

I convinced myself that I would never find a man who I could trust ever again. I would run into friends from school most that were married and still on their first one. I was not even sure if I could love another man with what I had been through in my life.

During December of 1982, Cathy informed me she was going to college come the New Year to further her career. She suggested that I join her and get a degree in business management. I went and enrolled but I could not start at the same time she would, as my grant money would not be in time. I could either start a few weeks after they had or wait until next semester. I decided to go a few weeks after she had started.

I had talked to Cathy after her first day in school. She informed me that she was surprised that most of the people were our ages. Cathy also informed me she had met this man by the name of Rod. He liked her and they sat together in classes they had together.

By the third week of college, Cathy was dating Rod. Cathy even told me he had a friend. However, I informed her I was there to learn not to meet men. I was nervous as hell my first day at college. The teacher of my first class had told me to stand against the far wall until his class began.

I was standing there as people started to file into the classroom. I did not pay much attention to any of them. That was until these two men walked into the room together. They had caught my eye because as they walked into the room one of them had his arm around the other telling him something. The two of them were laughing as one of them took his seat.

The one standing looked to me then tapped the other as he told him something. The man sitting down looked toward me I felt his eyes checking out my body. His eyes had started down low and worked their way up by body. When his eyes went to my tits, I turned my head thinking just a normal horny man.

However when I turned my head back toward him his eyes were looking into mine. Even from the distance, I was from him I could see the lovely blue in his hazel eyes begin to sparkle as he stared into my eyes. As I stared into his eyes, the blue shade of his eyes seems to grow brighter.

As I stood there, I had a feeling between my legs I had not felt in a long time. My pussy twitched as I looked into his eyes. Stop it Kay remember all the horror you have suffered already I told myself. I was trying to figure out just what I was seeing in his eyes when I saw his face turn a little red, which caused me to smile at him.

Reality returned when I heard the teacher as he said, “Boys and girls we have a new student joining us.” “Her name is Kay,” the teacher said as everyone turned to look at me. “Why don’t you take a seat beside John there Kay he is my best student and I am sure he will help you get caught up and let you copy his notes,” the teacher added pointing to the man who had been staring at me.

I went over to John who stood up and pulled the chair out for me before he took his seat again. John flipped open the note pad in front of him telling me what they were going over in class today. I leaned over closer to John and it seemed as if he smelled my hair. I pulled back from him looking to the teacher.

I turned to look at John and as I did, he turned to me as well. I found myself looking dead into his eyes. His lovely blue green eyes seem to sparkle bluer as I stared into them. My body seemed to fill with great warmth as I looked into his eyes. Stop it Kay I told myself however I could not move my eyes from his. Those lovely eyes where had I seen eyes like those before.

Bill, a client of Jack had those same loving eyes came into my head. When it did, I realized that John was trying to read my eyes as I was reading his. I turned my eyes from him back to his note pad as I hoped he had not seen the dark secrets I held in them.

“If you are having trouble following my notes I will translate them for you,” John said to me.

“Your notes are amazing I should have no trouble in catching up,” I replied to him afraid to look into his eyes.

As our class went on, I found out the man beside me was no dummy. When no one in class seemed to have known the answer to the teacher’s question, he called on John. He always gave him the answer to his question.

After more than a few unanswered questions the teacher looked at me as he said, “Now you see why I had you sit with John.”

I was glad when it was time for a break, as I had to get away from the man I was sitting next too. I kept telling myself as I walked out of the classroom.

“Don’t get involved with this man.” “You promised yourself never to fall for a man again.” “Think of Sherri,” I said to myself as I leaned against the wall in the hallway.

I was standing there when I saw John coming out of the classroom. I was thinking just walk on by me do not stop. However, John walked over to me and he held his hand out to me. I shook his hand as he introduced himself to me.

I looked to his hand seeing the shiny gold wedding band around his finger. John seemed to pull his hand from mine when I looked at his ring. He welcomed me to the school and walked away quickly. After seeing the ring on his finger, I thought he was just another married man looking for some strange pussy.

John ended up being in all of my classes. I only sat beside him because of the excellent notes he had taken which I thought would help me to catch up with the others in my classes. John even asked me to go to lunch with him however; I told him I could not as I was meeting a friend.

As John walked away from me after I told him no on having lunch with him. I noticed he hung his head to the ground as he walked away. Now here was a man I had just met a very handsome man I might add, a man who could have had his pick of any girl at our college. Why had he hit on me and why had a married man walked away shamefully when I had refused his offer of lunch? Those questions filled my head as I walked toward the lunchroom in the college.

I met Cathy for lunch and I asked her where Rod was. She explained I had just missed him but I would meet him after school she told me. Cathy asked me how I liked it so far. I told her it was OK other than the first man to hit on me was a married one.

Cathy hugged me as she said, “Kay when the time is right that perfect man will walk into your life.”

I heard the typing of John’s fingers stop as he looked to me and he asked, “Was that what you were looking for Kay, the perfect man?”

“Yes, John and I found him in you,” I replied.

John stood up from his desk and turned his computer off, as he said, “A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials,” before he walked from the study.

I sat alone in his study with my thoughts. My head filling not with worry of my husband John but of the hurt and suffering, I had placed upon my daughter during my first two marriages. It was wrong of me and so blind not to have seen how my daughter Sherri suffered back then and still to this day.

I am a much stronger woman today thanks to my husband John, the one you know as Sgt. J. If that would happen today, I might just have to hip toss you to the ground or give you a Sgt. J leg sweep. If nothing else I would run for the hills screaming bloody murder or at least for help. I must leave you for now until my next chapter for my heart is telling me I have a daughter I must go hug and remind her how much she means to me.

I leave you with this. I did not set out in my life looking to be hurt I was only simply looking for love. I thought I had found it twice but only discovered pain and brought suffering to my daughter and me. It is even a wonder she even talks to me. As I sit here, I think maybe my husband should not be sitting in judgment of himself. Instead, it should be me in judgment of me.

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