Take me as I am…

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Take me as I am…Hi,Before we have any further contact or Xhamster friendship, I need to tell you my story:In 1968 I’m born in the Netherlands as an only c***d and lived a life full of joy. I haven’t been to primary school because we had a governess… My mom learned me to swim and to ride a horse (I had my own horse). My dad learned me (if he wasn’t working for his own company) how to ski. September 12, 1988 my parents died at a car crash. Before that moment my life was a fairytale, after that it looked like hell…My father was owner of his own company, a large business empire. By his last will, if I would be younger than 21 years old, the firm would be put in a trust fund. His best friend and business partner Evert-Jan, became trustee. Because I’m raised Catholic, Evert-Jan is my godfather too.My father knew I had the character of my mother, a profligate. So he let me earn his company. I had to work for it. First year I was mad about that. Before my parents died I had everything I wanted. After that I had a home (my mom her vacation home) and an allowance…So I thought I was in need of extra money (more than only the allowance) and at that moment I discovered my mom had a secret life, without anyone knowing it. She was a dominatrix in a sex club… In basement of her vacation home she had all her clothes and training facilities needed for BDSM. Because of frequently shopping together I knew mother and daughter had same clothing size…This all happened during my study for a Bachelor degree, together with a girlfriend (Lindsay). Lindsay was born Irish and together with her aunt (Elisabeth) a refugee when living in London. Because her parents had IRA connections her aunt and my father (close friend of aunt Elisabeth) worked out a plan to give Lindsay a new life. When even London wasn’t safe enough for her, Elisabeth and Lindsay came to the Netherlands… My father arranged we both studied at the same school, same class and living in the same apartment.But, mad because of the allowance and curious about what’s about BDSM, I neglected my study. I found a trail about my mom her secret life and wanted to experience what inspired her!At the sex club she had worked too, I was impatient. So I wanted to feel what’s about BDSM before I learned the basics. One customer was willing to help me… So in an unguarded moment, I was abused. The owner of the club helped me by arranging training for me (once abused didn’t scare me of). I was send of for training to live at a family I didn’t know at all. The husband and wife in the family both had the skills of a dominant. But the wife wasn’t practicing anymore…The family had three studying boys. During weekend they tricked their father and gained access to his BDSM studio, while he was locked out and I was tied up over there… They ****d me multiple times. The lady of the house picked up groceries at that time, but when she was home again she freed me up with the spare key of the BDSM studio, together with her husband. For processing the trauma, she taught me to be dominant, with her sons as training material… Don’t ask my why I agreed with that. Even today I don’t know the answer on that question…The way she trained me, helped me to discover my feelings for women too. buca escort I went home and discovered Lindsay being in my home, neglecting her study too, because she was worried about me. You have to admit, understandable, because at that time I was officially been missing for almost a month… Back in each others arms, I found out her being lesbian with love feelings for me!So after being abused in the sex club and ****d during slave training, I discovered a lot of myself: The mother of the r****ts helped me to discover my dominant skills and I found out my love for men AND women during sex with my class- and roommate Lindsay…That was too much, so I took a break. I already had screwed up my school that year, so I did a new attempt by doing the final year again. Along with Lindsay who was waiting for me to help me by doing the last year together. Once into the rhythm, the study went as usual (almost automatically). So Lindsay and I allowed ourselves some fun again (and together).Because of the BDSM training, I liked to be dominant. It scared Lindsay a bit, but she was as curious as I was once… Because I wasn’t experienced enough, I was in need of a master to teach me. I found one, Roy. He and Michelle (his wife and sub) were the perfect people on the perfect moment. In that period we were studying during the week. We went looking for a bar on Friday night and we were guests of Roy and Michelle at the weekend.Roy was my master, but also my teacher for being Lindsay her dominant. So he showed me how to treat Lindsay by treating me… Michelle was the teasing one, helping her master by giving Lindsay and me pain, but also receiving pain from Roy… She was the ultimate switch. So this seven months gave Lindsay and me the image of BDSM we were looking for.You can enjoy it if you can trust your master. By switching we learned not to be vindictively! From that moment I sometimes had the joy of being a sub again, Lindsay her sub! That moment friendship for life was born.After our study, both Lindsay and I found work in the Netherland. Therefore Lindsay moved to Arnhem and I found a new home in Scheveningen (Penthouse with seascape). We both started a busy life. Lindsay worked hard, long and irregular. I was pretty addicted to BDSM, so beside my weekday job, I worked in an SM studio during weekend. At most once per quarter, we enjoyed a whole weekend together, dancing and pub-crawling 😉 Every time during that weekend, one of us was sub and the other dom. The next quarter reversed of course ;-)Lindsay has a passion for art painting and met a lesbian painter who learned her a lot about art. They also enjoyed sex together. Lindsay didn’t love her, but both had passion for each other… I had the believe that I was in need of a man to share life. But when you work 7 days a week, how do you find one? Friday night I was hunting 😉 So almost every week there was one night I wasn’t sleeping at home…Saturday I started training male subs at the holiday home of my mom. They all were kept at that home for the weekend 😉 The first sub was Mitchell. A nice guy. During the years I got a crush on him, but BDSM prevented me from really loving him…Years passed by and I became somewhat desperate… BDSM at escort buca the SM Studio became routine instead of joy and relaxation. Routine made me incautious and when having sex with one of my regular customers, I got pregnant… But for me a c***d must be born out of love, so I didn’t want to have that baby! However, abortion went totally wrong and I became infertile :-(I was really depressed about that. Evert-Jan and Lindsay were there for me, to support me, comfort me, but they couldn’t help me. I wanted to have a family, like my parents. The dream was gone… At some point I decided to quit the SM Studio period in my life. When I therefore was harassed by frustrated former customers, my limit was reached… One day I made a suicide attempt 🙁 Again thanks to Evert-Jan and Lindsay their love and care for me, I failed on that one…After I tried to commit suicide, I was hospitalized for over half a year. And not a normal hospital, but the type of hospital where you were tied up and d**gged 24 hours a day… Lindsay and Evert-Jan were shocked when they discovered this and tried to get me out. But in the beginning they were powerless, because according to the experts this was needed for me to recover… Doctors with methods that were used for centuries, because they did not know better :-(Thanks to their perseverance Lindsay and Evert-Jan found a Swiss doctor, specialized in cases like me. So when he took over control (after Evert-Jan had to persuade the hospital with legal threats first) I moved to Switzerland. Therapy started and with success…In the meantime I ‘officially’ changed jobs and employer, just to cover up that I was being hospitalized. Only a few board members of that companies knew, but they cooperated because they where customers of my daddies company (at that time runned by Evert-Jan). In Switzerland I had daily sessions that gave me back my life. I was guided in getting back a meaning of life by doing things that helped other people in need, combined with therapy. Therapy with a positive approach. People in need were mostly c***dren.I was doing a lot for those c***dren in the background, because at first they needed to find out if I was stable enough to work with c***dren… Later during therapy I actually helped out c***dren in need, by taking care of them in orphanages. The moment I started talking with those c***dren about the meaning of life, to motivate them to fight for their future, it was the day my doctor said I was cured…Why c***dren? Because getting an abortion that caused infertility, was my biggest grief. Realizing that there are a lot of other c***dren on the world to love and take care of, helped me to get over that. Since then I actually helped out orphanages a couple of times a year by doing work over there and I financially support them for the good work they do!Back in Holland a psychiatrist took over my treatment, to help me further to get my life back (at least the parts I wanted to continue and to get back my ambitions). I couldn’t got back to my old job in the company I was working before the suicide attempt, because it went broke in the meanwhile… The company made a restart with the new owner TAG Heuer. But without me, because new owner officially buca escort bayan didn’t know me as an employee :-(So Evert-Jan again used his good connections and arranged a new job at an Europian Internet hosting company. I liked that even better, because it was a nice job (ICT Storage & Back-up expert) and caring colleagues. That helped for me, so I made good progress! But still my shrink wasn’t too happy. She had the impression that I still lived my life with no real happiness…And she was right, life had no real purpose anymore. Nothing made me really happy and I had no goal. So somewhat after Millennium my shrink decided to mobilize everybody in my neighbourhood…She mobilized Lindsay to enjoy a girls weekend a few times a year again. That’s why I like to go out again, nightclubs, casino and enjoying her love. Years later a chat with a dear online girlfriend made me realize Lindsay was the love of my life. In 2010 we decided together to get ‘married’ (notarial cohabitation contract).She mobilized Evert-Jan to let me understand my father’s business. So he helped me with a financial education, law school and marketing. Till that point I was a technician. It helped me to take the giant step to take over daddies company from Evert-Jan (already passed the retirement age), after I married Lindsay and run my inheritance myself…She mobilized my boss at the Internet hosting company I was working that time. The boss worked out a plan to socialize the department even more. Friday afternoon drink in the nearest bar, fitness at the office, company skiing every year with over 30 colleagues. It helped, not only for teambuilding and improve company result, but also to give me back my passion for sport (as a k** my parants stimulated me to swim, ski, fitness, tennis and do horseriding).Secretly this boss and I enjoyed an extramarital relationship. That costed him a fine marriage, while he gave me a pretty good leg-up at his company 😉 It did hurt him when I married Lindsay in 2010, but thanks to my open relationship with Lindsay, we still enjoy each other at odd times ;-)She mobilized my BDSM preceptor to work synchronously with the therapy, to help me fight for my dignity, by organizing roleplay games that forced me to fight for myself. Me being a sub, sometimes forced me having sex, even with strangulation. It made me redefine my limits and also to take care of myself! The first time I screamed in sheer desperation 🙁 But with help and care of my dominant and shrink, I learned to deal with it. To trust good people and to fight for myself if trust was abused… Maybe an extreme example of lots of played situations in a safe environment, but that really helped me to get confident about myself and to have faith in other people again !!All of this took time, but it helped… Finally, in 2010 my ther****t asked me to go online, to share my life story with strangers, to trust them that they will not abuse the knowledge gained about me. With fail safe of course, being pseudonymous…In the meantime I lead my own company into partnership with other companies from Dubai, Tokyo and New York. Moved to Switzerland again, but now to live over their permanently. Finally in the beginning of 2016 I sold my company to the partners and got retired ;-)Together with Lindsay I enjoy life now, because one thing I have learned! Live is a party, as long as you hang the garlands yourselves…Now I hope you aren’t fainted or scared the hell out, but still remain or get in contact with me…

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