Shedding My Innocence

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I could hear the surf crashing against the shore, from the porch as I empty my beer. I came to this party hoping to shake this funk that has settled over me and have become bitterly disappointed not by the stale smoke or staler music, but by knowing that still a feeling of longing rests on my shoulders. I look out to the ocean, searching for anything to remove my mind for the here and now. A tap from the window behind me smashes through the peace I fought for. The smiling face of my friend Jeff, holding a beer up to his face, franticly waving for me to come in fills the window, a young girl wrapped around his shoulder.

Turning to re-enter the house, wishing he would just give up and we could leave, I take a final look down to the beach. Out of the corner of my eye, in the dim glow from the house lights I catch sight of a white clad woman, walking down near the shore line. As her dress flowed behind her on the light autumn wind it seemed to give her a light of her own.

I turn to go down the stairs as I hear the door open and a hand grab my wrist and pull me into the house.

“Hey man, were you going? I just scored us some more beer and killer smoke. It’s only 9:30, and you’re already trying to go off moping. You have been like this since we graduated college and that was just a few months ago.” Jeff getting closer to me so no-one can here his rant. “All you need is a good drunk, some smoke and a piece of willing ass, man. I found a girl that has been eye fucking you all night and I want you to meet her.”

Grabbing my shoulder he pushed/ led me to a side room, sliding the doors open to a dimly lit den. Placing two beers in my right hand and rolled smoke into the other and with a final shove to my back, I stumbled into the room and shut the doors behind me. As let my eyes adjust to the dim light coming from the fire lit in a glassed window fireplace. I scan the room and settle into the sofa. I light up the twist with my Zippo, snapping it shut with a flick of my wrist. I take a few hits and snub it out on the beer cap as I take a long haul of the cold long neck. I lean my head back and close my eyes as I barely hear the door open. I can hear the clicks of heals against the hard wood floor. I look up and see a skinny girl, clad only in a short micro skirt and a skimpy shirt, leaving her midriff exposed, a diamond piercing hand off her naval.

“Hi, you must be John. I’ve been looking for you; I just wanted to talk and get to know you but I didn’t want to bother you outside. My name is Angel.” She walked over to the couch, swaying from too muck drink as she flopped into the seat next to me. “I think you’re hot, and Jeff was telling me you have been really lonely lately and wanted to know if I could help.”

She leaned in closer to my body, the stale booze on her breath assaulting my nose. Her hands glide up my shirt as she tucked her legs under her body next to mine. Knowing from the every fiber of my being, that this to will not fill the void in me, she’s too thin, too young and too trashy for my tastes. I try and relax, having been with a few girls before this one, fighting to enjoy myself in the moment. As her small hand fumbles with my belt and zipper, pulling and tugging at them in what seemed like an entirety, her plastic smile and constant giggling grating on my last nerve. Pushing her softly off me, she landed on the far end of the sofa, her legs flaying out from under her, and do to the level of drink in her system, falling on to the floor. I stood and zipped myself back up.

As I walked to the door, I look over my shoulder to see her climbing back on to the sofa, here skirt riding up in a most undignified manner, causing me to laugh out loud. As she looked at me with a reddening face, her eyes full of rejection and loathing.

“Get back here you prick. Don’t you want this?’ Her hand flowing over her young, too thin body, trying to show off what I did not want.” or are you queer? That’s it, you must be, nobody passes me up!” her voice growing in anger.

“I think that’s my problem.” I shoot back over my shoulder as I opened the door and walked out them. Turning to speak to her as the doors shut, “But the next time I feel the need to throw a hotdog down a hallway, I’ll look you up,” giving her a quick wink as the doors snaps shut.

Jeff comes over and grabs me by both arms in his hands. “Did you enjoy her man? I couldn’t believe she wanted you over me, lucky bastard.” Slugging me in the arm,” Dude, she was smoking hot, and I can’t wait till I tell the guys when we get back home.”

I break free of his grip and shrug him off of me. “She’s still in there if you want a shot; I’m going for a walk, man. Call me after you’re done here, I’ll be walking the beach.” I walk to the door and grab my coat, stuffing beers in any pocket that they would fit in and grabbing a twist. My anger carried me out the door along with my unfilled longing.

The salt air and wind cleared my head quickly as I tossed back a beer as fast as I could. Sitting down by the surf I pondered what bahis firmaları is missing in my soul. I never could figure it out, but all the women, booze and drugs could never leave me filled, but leaving me with a gnawing feeling that I just don’t belong with age I was cursed with.

As I emptied by second beer, I look down and watch as the crashing surf climbs further up to me, leaving polished stones and shells at my feet. Watching it roll over and over again, I look up and down the beach for anything to loose myself to. About twenty feet down I see the stones and shell gather in a peculiar way. Getting up to investigate it, I notice that a foot print, left by the woman in white, indented into the soft sand was the cause of it. I could barely make it out, giving the amount of time that passed, but looking further down they were still there. Faint to my eyes but still, if I choose to, I could follow them. I start to walk, keeping track of the path left for me, looking down of any sign of the woman I saw before. I’ve walked about 30 minutes, unable to see the house I came from behind me. The waves have finally washed all the footprints away, making me feel more lost than before, so I sit down and crack open my last beer. Sitting down, my beer half buried in the sand, I close my eyes and listen to the roar of the sea. The wind picks up causing the sand to whip around me and bits of sand sting my face. Getting up, brushing the sand from my jeans and shirt to walk back to the house party I notice that the beach has become lit up from behind me.

I turn to see a small Victorian house, the bay windows glowing from the inside as a lone figure stands in front of them on a large wrap around porch. I look up and realize that is the same woman from earlier, her foot prints leading up to the house. I feel a pull inside me to walk up, but unsure how to approach her. Even a hundred feet away, I can tell she radiates something I have never felt coming off a woman before. I stand there, rooted to the spot, wondering how to go about approaching her house. I keep looking between my feet and the stairs to the house, till I spy her shoulder wrap, lying in the sand.

My upper body moves quicker than my legs in my excitement as I stumble towards the thin fabric, causing myself to go flush, hoping to God that she didn’t see me. In a vain effort to compose myself, a slowly walk to it and scoop it up, snapping it slightly, ridding it of any sand. I approach the house slowly and as coolly as one can while walking in sand and the closer I get I notice that see doesn’t even see me. Her gaze is fixed far out in the ocean, a large mouthed wine glass with a delicate stem, balanced between her fingers. The scarlet liquid reflected the moon light as she absentmindedly swirled it, catching my eye. Standing off to the side, close to the stairs I can see a sad longing in her eyes, searching for an answer, though no question has been asked.

“Excuse me; I believe you dropped this out there.” Cocking my head down to the area where I found it. I place my foot on the first step, holding the wrap out in my hand. Her head snap up and towards me in surprise, first looking at me and then at my hand. “I don’t think you want to be with out it on a chilly night like this,” As soon as the words exit my mouth the wind whips around us, her dress again flowing around her as I pull my coat tighter against myself.

“Thank you, I was thinking I lost this further down the beach. I thought it would be futile to try and search for it tonight. Come up here, so you can get out of the wind a bit.” I notice her striking beauty, her soft and lovely face partly covered by her long curly hair as she turned to face me. I ascend the stairs, my heart pumping faster for unknown reasons. I reach the top; about ten feet up off the beach and face you close up for the first time.

“Here you go.” As I hand out the wrap to you, I notice your mature features, giving you an allure that I missed before. You don’t take it from me as I timidly drop my hand to my side.

‘I’m sorry if I disturbed your peace and quite, Ms….”

“Melissa, Melissa Robinson, and you can drop the Ms. if you please.” A smile as bright as the rising sun crosses your face, as you brush the hair from your face. You switch the wine glass to the other hand and lean against the rail. “And you would be…?”

“John, its John Hampton.” I stammer out, shifting from one foot to the other. I don’t know why you have brought this nervousness over me, but the closer I get to you the worse it is. I’m at least 10 feet away from you and your gaze has reduced me to a 16 year old inside. My mind franticly searches for a subject to bring up, not waiting to leave your company yet. I bring my hands up to my face and blow on them, even though they are flushed with heat and slick from my nerves. ‘Its gotten I bit chiller, hasn’t it?

“I don’t think it’s all that bad, a bit refreshing in fact.” You’re sipping down your wine as you talk to me, watching as your lips part for the glass and press kaçak iddaa against it. You take a small sip and as you bring the glass back down, I watch, as a small drop left on your lower lip, is wiped away by curling it into your mouth and pulling it in with your top lip then licking your lips slightly. “The wine helps keep me warm too. Why don’t I give you a glass for bringing my wrap back to me, before you head off?

Before I can say anything you slide the patio door open and walk into the house, closing the door behind you. Disappearing around a corner, I lean with my back against the rail, the wrap still in my hand. I wait for a few minutes and see you round the corner again with two empty wine goblets in one hand and a new bottle in the other. I jump up and slide the door open as you approach, and letting it gently glide shut as you return outside. You set the bottle down on a side table, next to the one you’ve been drinking and half fill the glasses.

“Here, this will warm you up a bit.” I reach out and take it from you, and for the first time I touch you. I run my fingers lightly over yours as I accept the glass. It feels like my finger tips have brushed against an exposed wire and chills shoot down my spine. Nothing I’ve ever felt has been quite so intense, as I lift the glass to my lips and take a large gulp from it.

“You might want to take it a bit easy on that.” as you gently sip on yours “You do have to walk back from were you came from. Try not to rush yourself though; wine should be enjoyed, not gulped down like beer, besides I could use the company.”

“Do you live here by yourself?” Sliding down the rail, closing the gap between us as the wind dies down a bit, carrying a faint sent of sunflowers off of you to me.

“It seams that way much of the time, but no. I have a husband; he is just away too much.” I can see the sadness in your eyes as you bring your glass up, sipping on it till it’s gone. You grab my almost empty glass and go to fill yourself another and top off mine, opening the new bottle in the process. You return to a spot on the rail closer to me and lean against it on your forearms, your glass held in both hands out in front of you. “It can be a bit lonely out here, but the ocean gives me some peace. I like to sit out here some days and watch the sun rise. I love the colors that reflect off the waves. It’s just something I can do just for myself that I don’t have to share with anybody.”

“It seams very peaceful around here. I live about 30 minutes from here and it’s my first time down this way. I was at the party you passed but got kind of board with it, so I went out to clear my head.” I can fell the wine warming me a bit, but doing little to calm my nerves. “I didn’t think I would find you, given so much time has passed since you walked by.”

Your head moves slightly to me as you hear my accidental admission. A smile comes across your face. “You know I’m starting get a bit chill. Why don’t you come over here and put my wrap over me.”

Standing still with shock, I fumble with my glass as I try and put it on the rail, before I will my feet to move. I step over to you as I fold it out and walking behind you as you straighten up. I notice that I’m only slightly taller than you and begin to bring my arms around your shoulders. My hands shake as I try and cross the fabric over you, not daring to touch you.

You grasp my hands and close the wrap around you holding my hands still against the area, just below the nape of your neck. You stand there, my body not quite close enough to make contact to yours, and give a deep satisfying sigh. “So why were you looking for me?”

A cold sweat floods me as my mind searches for an answer. I start to stutter out random excuses, not finishing the first as I start on the second. I try and back up, but you keep my hands still and back up into me. Your hair pushes into my face a bit, smelling of flower and the ocean, calming me a bit.

“It’s ok. I noticed you outside of the house when I walked past. I don’t understand why you went looking for me, but I’m enjoying the company.” I step into you a bit, careful not to make too much contact as we stand there, looking out at the beach. I take in all your scents, inhaling deeply as I can feel my hands tremble under yours.

You step away from me and turn in my arms, our faces so close that your warm breath fills the opening of my coat. I stand still unsure as what to do except stare deep into your eyes. Your hands slide along my sides, meeting behind me as you pull me closer to you. Lifting your face a bit, you bring your body up and softly and shyly touch your lips to mine. Flashes of heat pass through me as I press my lips firmly to yours, my arms moving down your shoulder and gather you up into me. I melt inside as I feel our mouth moving together, the passion of a first kiss building as we pull each other closer.

Your neck and cheeks are flushed as you pull away from me, the heat from your body disappearing. Sliding your hands up my sides and down my arms, kaçak bahis you turn us and grab my hand in yours. Pulling me as you walk backwards to the door, sliding it open with your free hand,” Why don’t we get out of the cold?”

I blindly follow you, a loss of words keeping my mouth shut, I just nod my head up and down as I slide the door closed behind up. You lead me through your house, shutting the lights off as you go. You kick off your shoes as we approach the stairs and I follow suit. Using my feet to shove them off next to yours, I climb the stairs, our eyes never leaving each other. At the top of the stairs, I’m over come with the desire to kiss you again, as I pull your hand over to me and wrap an arm around your waist and bring one behind your head. Kissing you deeply and moving my mouth slowly over yours, I feel how soft your hair and body is, turning me on more and more.

I pin use against a door off to the side of the stairs, as your hands pull my coat off my shoulders and let it fall to the floor. You bring a hand up my back pushing our kiss deeper and faster as your other hand turns the knob of the door. We stumble inside the darkened room, the only light able to penetrate the drawn shades is from the moon light. I can see that we are now in your bedroom as my eyes adjust to the low light, making out a well furnished room. A large king sized bed in the center of the room divides it in half with large windows on each side and covered in an over stuffed white comforter.

You bring us to the end of the bed and push me down by my chest into a sitting position, leaning back on my arms, my ass barely on the bed. No words come from you as you reach over and start to unbutton my shirt. One by one, you work my shirt apart, pulling it out from my jeans. You lean in and kiss my chest as your hands push my flannel off my shoulder, having me lift one arm after the other and you toss it to the floor.

You stand before me and remove your wrap and let it fall to your feet. A desire to see you naked floods me and I start to stand up. You push me back and start to reach behind you and unzip your dress. I stand up and yet again you push me back down, a confused look crossing my face. “You’re not very experienced at being with an older woman, are you? There is no need to rush this, just sit there and enjoy, neither of us are going anywhere tonight.”

I finally realized that I’m out classed here as I watch you shed your dress, flowing like water over your soft curves, gathering at your ankles. Stepping out of the mound on the floor, clad only in your matching bra and panties, you place both hands at the sides of my legs and lean into me. Your mouth press against mine as you push me back just by your lips. Sliding my hands along the bed, my arms flowing out as I lay back stretching them out towards the edges. Watching you climb onto the bed, one knee at a time our lips never separating.

I reach up my left hand, gliding it over your back. Sliding it up to the strap of your bra, I try and undo it. You hook your arm around mine and toss it back to the mattress. “You really need to be a bit more patient,” a sharp tone to your voice, “I’ll take it from here.” You crawl up my sides, kissing and licking at me, pushing us further up the mattress, working over every part of my upper body with your hands.

Kissing my lips and moving your mouth over to sides of my throat, nibbling under my ear and neck, working down to my chest. You snake out your tongue and run it over my nipple, switching back and forth between the two, as you hand run through my chest hair. You work your hand down further, to the edge of my jeans, sliding your finger tips under the waist, gently brushing my hairs. Slowly undoing the button fly of my jeans, each letting go with a small vibration to my growing member, I tense by body, completely summiting to you.

With the last button opening under your skilled fingers, you spread the opening with your hand and grab at the base of my cock. You notice that I keep my hair trimmed low and pull it free from how it is folded against my leg. Now free to let the blood flow to it, it leaps in your hand, your hand wrapping around its forceful thickening. Rolling my head against the covered bed, in shear ecstasy, you give up on my nipples and work your mouth down. Following my thin happy trail, to my stomach, my naval and traveling to my pelvis. You suddenly attack me, your tongue twirling it in circles, till you reach the base of my manhood. I suck in my breath deeply, causing my stomach to flatten, and in a heavy sigh, let go to you totally.

You move your body between my legs and prop yourself over me on the palms of your hands. Your long hair, moving over my waist and I feel the air escaping from you all over my growing cock. Your tongue moves without care over my smooth skin, your lips running up and down the sides as it jerks back and forth. Using only your lips, you pull me into your mouth as you fold your legs underneath your body. You move your weight to one hand and pull your hair back, you look up at me, our eyes locked, just the tip of the head being held. A thin smile curls at the ends of your lips before you slowly sink your mouth down my length, taking it down about half way.

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