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(excerpt from book)
* The meaning of art *
Bill had a hard time seeing the paintings on the walls since they were in the shadows. He could tell they were of an erotic nature showing naked subjects in different poses. Lois noted he was taking everything in and asked if he’d like to stroll around in order to get a better view of the art saying she’d like to get a glass of wine as well.
She returned with two glasses of white wine smiling at him as she handed him a glass. She was hoping their attraction was mutual but she didn’t get the response from him she’d hoped for.
They strolled leisurely like an old married couple in an art musuem. However it weren’t the paintings that caught their attention at first, it was the romantic intervention of others in their midst.
They stopped to look at each painting and while doing so, he felt Lois tug on his sleeve. When he looked at her he saw her smile as she motioned with her head towards the stairs. When he looked he saw Carl and Charmaine going upstairs as they held each other around the waist. Lois smiled impishly at him when she said,
“I hope you’re okay with this Bill. Your wife’s in good hands and I promise she won’t be any worse off after being with Carl. He told me he was attracted to her and of course I encouraged him; I hope you understand and don’t mind?”
“I’ve come to accept it with her. I know for certain she had one affair and there were probably others as well. I guess we have to take the good with the bad and if this is the bad, then I’m alright with it.”
Lois took his arm affectionately telling him he was a wise man. She moved and rubbed up against him very much like a cat does when needing contact. She measured the effect she was having on him. Then smilingly she said,
“You and I could exact our lustful revenge on them…if you’d like.”
Bill knew what she meant but didn’t know what to say. Instead he patted her arm and smiled at her in response to her suggestion. She was one of the most striking women he’d met. But he thought she deserved more than someone going through the motions with her.
She was confused and wasn’t used to rejection since she considered herself an attractive woman. Yet her interest in him and what made him tick fascinated her, besides he posed a challenge to her. She wanted to find out more about him sensing something wasn’t quite right; something she didn’t understand yet.
They stopped at each painting as if to unlock the hidden meaning behind each of them, commenting on what interpretation they had. Lois had an unfair advantage in her ability to interpret them since she knew two of the artists. She leaned against him resting her head against his shoulder in order to maintain contact. They came upon a painting of what appeared to be Neanderthal men on a hunt. The larger male who was perhaps the leader was leaning against a large boulder while a docile younger male sucked his cock perhaps in submission. The look of pleasure on the dominant male was evident as he cast his eyes upward to the heavens.
Lois said she thought the artist was trying to make a statement about how homosexuality evolved in man along with the social structure that is common to primates or tribal societies. She mentioned wolves have what is called a pecking order and use body language in cowering to show the higher ranking wolves their willingness to be submissive.
“What better way is there to show submission between two males than for one of them to assume the role of the pleasure-giver; offering sex and satisfaction as a sign of homage and adoration,” she said. Causing bill to offer, “And then when it became obvious the act could be pleasurable for the male doing it, it was just a matter of time before he wanted to do it more frequently; even to other members of the clan when eventually he would be labeled a homosexual.”
Lois smiled in agreement also noting how quickly she could learn about people by simply listening to their comments. Though she was surprised she quickly gleaned that Bill was showing homosexual desires. She said,
“Exactly and once the genie is out of the bottle, the rest is history and how can men be blamed for liking it as much as women do?”
This opened a new topic of discussion and she took the opportunity to ask him if he ever had the occasion or desire to perform oral sex on another male. He looked at her wondering if she had found him out even though he had tried to conceal it from others; even himself at times. With her he had no need to run from her suspicions and told her about the experiences he had in college and how they haunt him with desire, especially at this point in his life.
She saw another table with freshly poured wineglasses on it and taking his finished glass she returned with two fresh ones offering him a toast as they took another large swallow emptying the glass to half-full.
When they came upon the next painting they noted it was from the 17th century. It had four characters in what appeared to be a stable with stalls and hay covering the floor. beşevler escort An upper-class middle-aged man stood holding onto a vertical beam which had leather bindings or harnesses draped over a wooden peg. Sitting in front of him on a milking stool was a young handsome man. A smiling pretty girl was by his side with her hand on his shoulder. Perhaps she was his wife, girlfriend, or another servant. Standing beside the upper-class man was a woman, perhaps his wife since she looked to be his age and of similar social status. She too had her hand on his back perhaps comforting him as she looked pleased at what was happening:
The young man on the stool was holding half of the standing man’s cock in his hand while the other half was in his mouth. It was clear the man standing was close to the inevitable as his rigidity was at a maximum and the color of his erection was a dark crimson signaling his advanced state of arousal. Aside from having an arousing effect on Bill, it spoke to him on some level but he couldn’t quite find the message until Lois articulated exactly what it was he subconsciously understood; only too well.
“This is about the guilt which plagues closet homosexuals still seeking encouragement and perhaps permission from their mother’s regarding their sexual desires for other men. Most men have a deep need to please their mother from a very young age. There are many borderline homosexual men who fear rejection and without getting the encouragement they hide their desires only to discover them reoccurring later in life. If you note, both of these women have their hands on their respective partners showing their encouragement which is also shown on their faces by virtue of their smiles. It’s about acceptance, permission and encouragement to embrace homosexuality. Don’t ask me why many men are this way and why they have so many hang-ups about it but they do.”
And then she made a profound statement which made a great deal of sense to him:
“This is why many men find shemales so appealing since they find themselves with a woman encouraging them to do what they secretly want to do. When he looks up and sees a woman’s breasts and everything else associated with a woman it drives him wild with lust to have her let loose in his mouth with her warm sexy juice. Not only is she giving him encouragement in performing the act of fellatio but she is thrilled in having him do so. Think about it; how many women do you know that would consider encouraging a man to make love to a cock. There aren’t any, except for shemales. I have yet to meet a heterosexual woman who would encourage a man she liked to perform fellatio. It would be self-defeating wouldn’t it?”
Seeing his reaction to the paintings depicting homosexuality caused her to ponder whether Bill was either gay or bisexual since she had been with several bisexuals and found them to be wonderful lovers. Also, she had met some couples where the man was bisexual when they married and then became totally gay after awhile. Seeing the expression light up on Bill’s face when he looked at the paintings reminded her of the gay male she had met when studying dance in Russia for a few years; in fact they lived together for a year.
This time it was Bill who had their glasses refilled and when he handed it to Lois he realized he was beginning to feel its effect on him. He seldom drank and somehow it seemed the right place and time to indulge. He was impressed with her apparent insight, not to mention she accepted him which made him feel closer to her. He was used to guarding his inner thoughts from those around him but she had broken through on a hunch. With some reserve he said,
“I guess I’ve been in the closet with regards to the matter. I feel the need to protect my standing in the community with regards to my family. Charmaine feels the same way and we haven’t lost sight of our objective; even to the point we drew up a mission statement years ago. Some people get remarried, or renew their wedding vows but we decided on agreeing to a new purpose forgoing traditional wedding vows; it was preferable to divorce for us.”
“I understand completely but since she is permitted to express her sexual desires, isn’t it time for you to do the same? Especially now and in this environment where you have the opportunity to explore whatever you secretly wish,” she said.
He knew he would probably be too embarrassed to go upstairs with another man thinking he may have a harder time dealing with his desires afterwards. But she had an idea and knew someone Bill might find exciting, so he could “have his cake and eat it too”, so to speak.
“I’d like you to meet someone you might find interesting. Will you trust my judgment in suggesting it?”
He was willing to engage her desire to be a matchmaker if she wished, if for no other reason than to humor her. He let her take his arm as they approached a table presumably where this person was sitting. She let go of his arm approaching the table, talking briefly to a gorgeous woman. balgat escort Both of them approached him when the striking woman reached out her hand with the back of her hand upwards as though he could either shake it or bow to kiss it; he chose the latter when Lois said,
“Bill, this is Claudia. Claudia I’d like you to meet my friend Bill. I think the two of you might have a connection and if I’m right…well, I’ll just let the two of you get to know one another better while I get caught up on my socializing for awhile.”
Before leaving Lois took Bill by the arm leaning against him whispering, “All things are possible.”
Claudia had a beautiful gown on with a plunging neckline revealing a pair of magnificent breasts. Her jewelry looked expensive. Her soft rolled black velvet gown with its slit up the front had opened sufficiently to enable him to see she was wearing dark thigh-high nylons. She had shoulder-length hair and looked to be a brunette but the blonde streaks and highlights made her look more blonde.
Claudia looked about ten years younger than Bill. Her elegant youth was a breath of fresh air for him. However, there was something other than her youth and striking beauty that set her apart from any woman he’d seen. He couldn’t put a finger on it thinking it might become clear to him as they continued to interact.
He asked if she’d like to dance; she agreed. She smelled wonderful. She felt delicate and fragile in his arms. He trembled; she trembled as they felt a sense of togetherness as though they’d waited an entire lifetime for one another. He felt her softness and womanly charms moving against him. She was warm, inviting and receptive as she filled the space within his arms snuggling contentedly as she did so. He felt they were already sharing an intimacy in their close embrace. She was one of those women he’d easily imagine having a penis and when he did so he became aroused wishing she did. His foolish fantasy along with the wine and the erotic paintings all contributed to his awakening desires.
Neither of them felt the need to talk as they moved to the music feeling one another. He felt content in the moment without the need to talk having no idea how long they danced without saying a word. He wondered if she’d done this with other men and what their stories were. As though she read his mind she broke the silence,
“I come here mostly to socialize, to drink and to dance. I like watching the married couples regain their single status when given the chance. I especially like to watch the women. Some act as though they’re flowers waiting for ‘bees’ in the form of men to buzz around them and then of course there are the women that like being ‘bees’ behaving as though the men are the flowers.”
He chuckled at her analogy thinking she was right in her observations. He took a step backwards looking her up and down before asking,
“What about you; are you a bee or a flower,” she had a smile on her face when he added, “Wait let me guess; you’re definitely a flower, right?”
He didn’t catch her meaning when she answered,
“I’m a flower with a stinger I guess.”
She asked him if this was his first time to the club and where he was from and what he did for a living. When he told her he was a doctor she explained her whole family was in the medical industry in one form or another. He wanted to know if she was there with her husband when she said she was single.
He asked, “Have you ever gone upstairs with anyone,” when she said she had but wished she hadn’t.
“What do you mean,” he asked. She looked uncertain about telling him. Finally saying,
“I met a nice looking married guy who asked me to dance with him. We hit it off really well and we had a connection. He asked me to go upstairs with him. When I told him I might not be what I appear he asked what I meant, when I told him he didn’t believe me. He said if it was the truth he’d go down on me though he’d never done it before. Long story short, when I came he gagged and spit it out as though I was dirty, making me feel terrible and ruining the experience for me.”
Bill couldn’t believe what he was hearing and the implication. When it finally dawned on him what Lois had done he was flabbergasted thinking she’d played a joke on him. He knew what transsexuals and shemales were, even fantasized about them seeing them on the internet but he couldn’t believe Claudia could be one; she was that amazing. No matter what, he felt his surprise turn to anger when he considered Lois had played a joke on him.
He must’ve looked as though he’d seen a ghost when incredulously he took hold of Claudia’s shoulders holding her at arms-length looking at her as if seeing her for the first time. He studied her face in disbelief waiting for her to break into laughter thinking she was a part of Lois’s trick. Her face showed no sign of cracking when he asked,
“So you’re a transsexual…a shemale?”
She didn’t understand the look of confusion on his face assuming he knew and that Lois batıkent escort had told him. Apparently this wasn’t the case; she smiled in affirmation seeing his surprise. He took her smile to mean she was indeed a part of a prank when he’d been made out to be the fool. Angrily he turned walking away, wanting to confront Lois.
Claudia had no idea what was going on and thought he’d rejected her. She was pissed off as she walked back to her table getting her wrap cursing Lois for introducing them in the first place.
When Bill found Lois he angrily asked,
“Is this your idea of a joke?”
“What do you mean Bill,” she said not understanding him.
“Claudia’s a man!” he said perhaps too loud becoming aware of others nearby.
“No Bill. She was born a male but she is far from being a man. If you can’t see this, then you’re not as intelligent as I thought. I thought you’d find it fascinating and desirable to find a woman endowed with a males anatomy. I clearly saw your eyes light up when we were discussing shemales earlier. Foolish of me for hoping you might find someone I thought was right for you. I thought it was a perfect way for you to have your cake and eat it too but if the idea is so repulsive to you and you wish to deny your desires; I guess that’s your decision and I apologize.”
He didn’t know what to say and seeing Lois was not trying to be cruel he realized her heart was in the right place after all. Though he felt some relief, he still felt conflicted and frustrated mostly with himself and how he behaved.
“Do you find her repulsive Bill,” she asked. He said, “No, not at all. I guess I’m shocked and thought the two of you were playing a joke on me.”
He saw her looking over his shoulder when she said,
“Well, if you care about her feelings, I think you’d better let her know before it’s too late.”
Lois again motioned with her head and when Bill looked he saw Claudia on her way out the door.
*My god what kind of an unfeeling bastard am I?*
He felt angry with himself as he made his way to the exit in an attempt to catch up with her not knowing what he’d say to her. What could he say? When he got outside he saw her quickly crossing the parking lot noting it was raining. Unexpectedly his excitement in knowing she was a transsexual made his heart race pounding in his temples.
“Claudia! Please wait…” he called to her as she paused almost imperceptibly in hearing him before quickening her pace to get away. He broke into a run to catch up to her, hearing his feet slapping loudly against the wet pavement. When he grabbed her arm she snapped it away looking defiantly at him.
“Claudia, please. You don’t understand. I was confused. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you. Please believe me.”
When he saw she’d been crying he thought of the song, “I’ll do my crying in the rain…” Noting how ineffective rain was in hiding the fact she’d been crying. It was then he realized how much he wanted her, to hold her in his arms and tell her how sexy, beautiful and lovely she was. Not just to make her feel better but because it was all true.
“I don’t have time for this crap,” she snapped.
“Please, don’t leave. There are things you don’t know about me and there are things I want to know about you. If you only knew how beautiful and exciting you are to me; especially knowing what I know now; you’re a dream to me.”
Her face softened not knowing whether to believe him or not when finally she said,
“I thought you and Lois were jerking me around.”
“I know…I thought you and Lois were doing the same to me. That’s why I left you so abruptly to confront her. I understand how you misinterpreted my actions. Would you please come back inside so we can start over?”
She saw his sincerity. He surprised her when he took her in his arms. They hugged; neither of them cared if it was raining until she began to laugh in a very feminine way saying,
“We better go back inside don’t you think?”
When he saw her beautiful smile he couldn’t help doing what he did next; he kissed her. It started out slow and she was cautious at first but when she felt his tongue dancing on her lips, she opened them slightly. Enough to let him inside as she touched her tongue against the tip of his; tasting him. It was a kiss that grew in intensity and perhaps one of the nicest either of them had ever experienced when she said,
“First kisses were never meant to be so nice.”
*A new beginning…*
When they got back inside it occurred to him he might run into Charmaine; he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to explain who he was with. What he was hoping to do and having to introduce them to one another. In fact he avoided looking in the area where Lois had been sitting. Claudia sensed his uneasiness when she suggested they find somewhere quiet to sit and talk. She knew of one such place that had a red velvet loveseat that was isolated providing them privacy.
After they got a glass of wine they toasted, perhaps in their fortune in meeting. She looked at him and began to smile noting how handsome he was; in fact one of the most handsome men she’d met. Her legs were close to him. The slit in the front of her dress exposed the top of her nylons and the bare smooth skin above. He placed a hand on her knee looking into her eyes when she said,
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