A Little Night Music

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Mozart made me rich. I have to give the credit to someone since none of the money I made came through my own efforts or talent. Of course Carla Kopecki had a lot to do with it too. She’s my friend Red’s mother.

Red and I went through school together until I went into the Julliard college program and he and his mother moved into the city. We had even more in common then because his father also died.

Meeting at his mom’s condo near Lincoln Center after school provided as much education as any formal lessons could. Mrs. Kopecki was amazing. She took us to plays and movies and museums all the time, but the best part was that when she told us about what we had been seeing, she made it sound so interesting.

Carla Kopecki made her living being a financial planner, a good enough living to get her and Red from a small Staten Island rental, to a luxury condo in Manhattan, but her heart was in the arts. And that’s why I got rich.

Before I tell about that, let me say what was going on at my home. My mom was a typical struggling single parent, but she was true to her name, she did everything with grace. We had enough, but still did without a lot. We were fortunate that my father’s insurance paid off our small house on Staten Island or else we would have been in real trouble. Grace was a good mother and as I got older I began responding to the fact that she was also a good-looking mother.

She’d had me when she was young and so she was only in her mid thirties when I became of age. And I liked the way she looked. Maybe she was my type because she was my mother, but I loved her long legs, her soft curves, and her dark almond shaped eyes.

And incidents that would have been insignificant to most, made a big impression on me. So when I walked in and saw her asleep on the couch with her skirt hiked up to where I could see the tops of her stockings and a hint of her panties, it didn’t take long for the stiffening in my pants to become huge. It mesmerized me, and it made me uncomfortable. But I knew I wouldn’t look away until I had to. The five minutes it took before she moved lasted an hour to me. Anticipating getting caught, drops of sweat rolled down my neck. I knew I could make it seem as if I had just walked in, but I couldn’t get away from all the feelings.

My compromise to rubbing myself as I watched her was to place the book I held over my pants and press. I wanted to fuck her. I could say whatever I wanted about what was going on, the bottom line was that I wanted to fuck my mother. That’s not an easy pill to swallow, but I’d finally made it go down.

That certainly wasn’t the first time I’d had sexual thought about her. What most sons wouldn’t take any notice of had always got me going, like watching her cook in a slip, or seeing her putting on her makeup in a way that would keep her blouse clean. That meant that she stood there in her heels, skirt, and bra, oblivious to my goings and comings. I took in as much of the sight of her as I could. And anything she wore that showed her beautiful cleavage got me crazy.

And it wasn’t that I was a sex-starved kid. You know the guy in high school that you didn’t think was that good looking, but ended up going out with a lot of the better looking girls? That would be me. It didn’t hurt that I played bass and sang with the band that did the local gigs. I’d even had a couple of older women thrown into the mix. Maybe some of the attraction to mom had to do with the fact that the sex was better with the older women.

So I stood there as she slept, hard, wanting to fuck her, thinking, ‘what the hell is wrong with you? Aren’t there enough women out there?’ It was at that moment that mom turned and said, “Oh hi Danny, I didn’t hear you come in, what time is it?” She didn’t pull her skirt down and I was glad the book was in front of my tented pants.

“It’s about five mom,” I said. “I just got in this minute, sorry I woke you; I know you worked late last night.”

“That’s okay honey, I have to start dinner.” She got up and kissed me on the cheek and I made sure the book stayed between us. So I’m not telling you this because it was so unusual, but because that was the kind of stuff that was happening to me all the time.

Now I might have thought that with my attraction to my mother and older women, Mrs. Kopecki might have turned me on. She sure had the tits for it. She wasn’t a porn star, but she was nice looking and kept herself very well. Maybe because Red was my friend, there was no sexual attraction for me.

Red and I spent so much time together it was hard to keep secrets. If you ever had a ‘Best’ friend you know what I mean. We used to ride our bikes to Silver Lake, which was more like a pond, and sit at the edge of the water and talk. He was the first one I ever told about my feelings. I probably would never have said anything if he didn’t tell me about him and Mary first.

Mary’s his sister, who’s older by a year. He still loves her. Even though he never said those sarıyer escort words then, and he wouldn’t say them now, it’s so painfully clear. It started with some kissing and what I inferred was some harmless playing ‘Doctor’ when they were young. But all he ever wanted to talk about was Mary, where she went, what she did, how she looked.

For Mary, the thing with Red was a short episode of fooling, kissing, and trying her newfound power of feminine attractiveness on for size. For Red it was too much more. When she quickly moved on to other boys and other things, Red was left behind, tied in an emotional knot. Not that he didn’t go out and get involved with other girls, but I only had to see Mary and Red in the same room to know that he might never get over her.

What I saw in Red was something of what I saw in me, and what it told me was that I wasn’t the only one in the world who could feel something for someone they weren’t supposed to. When I told Red that I had a thing for my mom, I wouldn’t say he wasn’t surprised, but it wasn’t that big a deal to him. He knew where I was coming from. So I could tell him what I saw and what I felt, and then the same incident could stimulate me, all over again.

The piano thing started when Mrs. Kopecki decided she wanted to learn to play. After school I would show her some things on my small electronic practice instrument. Before long she went out and bought a baby grand. I still remember the moment when I was looking out at the spectacular view of New York City from her window when she said, “Danny, do you have time to give me piano lessons twice a week? It’ll be worth a hundred dollars a week to you.”

I’d been playing since I was five and I could certainly teach a beginner, but in no way was I worth fifty dollars an hour. I knew she was trying to help me out since money was tight for mom and me. I made the best bargain of my life when I jokingly said, “I couldn’t take money from you Mrs. Kopecki, but we can call it even if you can teach me how to afford a view like this.”

She took it seriously and stuck out her hand and said, “Deal. And I’ve told you before to call me Carla. Now you have to, since you’re going to be my teacher.”

For almost a year a year we didn’t miss a lesson and she took so much pleasure even in practicing. After she learned the basics she turned to Billy Joel. When she moved on to Mozart, that became all she wanted to learn. And even if she would never end up playing in a concert hall, she was very good.

For her part of the bargain, it was more a matter of her telling me what stocks and bonds to buy and when to sell them, than it was teaching me how to do it on my own. We set up an account and basically I did whatever she suggested. She was excellent at picking more winners than losers; after all, her lifestyle wasn’t paid for by accident. But we also had a stroke of luck when she told me to buy Google and I misunderstood how much she had told me to buy, and I put almost all my money into it. We sold it when the price quadrupled.

While all this was going on, mom was still working a full-time and a part-time job near Fort Hamilton in Bay Ridge. Somehow she ended up dating a guy named Mcteer who was a colonel. He called her all the time. She had dinner at the officer’s club a lot and he usually took her to all the formal functions there.

I knew we were strapped for money, so when mom came home with a new car one day. I couldn’t understand it and I said, “Mom, where did you get the money?”

She hesitated and then said, “From Colonel Mcteer.”

I got whacked with a jumble of feelings, topped by anger and jealousy. I drew conclusions and it came out as, “You mean you fucked that damned officer for a car?”

She turned red and raised her hand. She’d never hit me as a kid and I don’t know how she stopped from slapping my face at that moment, but she did. She took my arms in her fists and said, “You listen to me Danny, first of all, if I did, it wouldn’t be any of your business, and secondly, it was just a loan for the down payment. I’m tired of getting stuck on the Verrazano Bridge, I’m tired of being a dollar short every month, and I’m tired of not having enough strength to get through the day.” By this time her eyes were welling with tears and I put my arms around her to hug her.

“I’m sorry mom, please don’t cry. I just didn’t want to see you get in a situation…” I didn’t know what the hell to say and I kissed her face and neck a few times and told her not to cry because was it going to be all right. I’d promised Carla I wouldn’t spend any of the invested money, but I told mom, “I have enough saved from the piano lessons for that down payment. I want you to give what you took from the colonel back, okay?”

“But it’s five thousand dollars, Danny.”

“I have it mom; will you do it?”

She said, “How could you have saved so much…but you worked for that money…”

I said, esenyurt escort “Don’t worry, I love you…” I called her by the name that always made her smile when I said it, “Gracie-girl.”

She hugged me and said, “I love you too baby, thank you, I’ll give it back. I wasn’t happy about taking it but I…oh, and Danny, I didn’t sleep with him. He just likes having me on his arm at the Officer’s Club, to parade in front of his buddies.”

I said, “I’m glad, mom.” I kissed her lips a little too long and I ran my hand over her waist down her hips. She laughed a little and said, “Danny, I think were getting a little carried away here; let’s go get a cup of coffee.” We sat and talked a while and before she went to bed, I kissed her again and when she pulled back she had a concerned smile as she said, “Goodnight darling.”

During the next months, things went well financially, but Carla wouldn’t let me spend a penny. Everything went back into the pot. When I had enough for a stereo system, she said, “Wait.” When I had enough to pay off mom’s car, she said, “Wait.”

When I looked at the bottom line of the year-end statement, I showed it to Carla and said, “Look at this, thanks to you, I can do something I’ve always wanted to, and that’s buy my mom an apartment in the city. Carla, Do you have any idea how hard my mom has worked over the years? She worked two jobs, she cleans until there isn’t a speck of dust in the house, she cooks, and she never buys herself anything. It’s been a dream of hers to live in the city and take advantage of all the things there is to do here. I listened to you and didn’t say anything about the money, but I want to do this for her, she deserves it.”

Carla said, “Okay, I think it’s time, but I want you to buy two; one for Grace and one for an investment.” I took her advice as I always did.

After putting down a good down payment on the apartments Carla and I picked out, I couldn’t wait to show mom. I asked her to come to the city to see a movie. It wasn’t a usual thing for us to spend Sunday together and she treated it as a special occasion. She got dressed up and made up, and looked great. I said, “Mom, you look spectacular.” She actually blushed.

I wanted it to be a total knockout surprise about the apartments, so we actually did go to the movie first. When we got out, there was a sudden downpour and we ducked into small doorway with an overhang. We were practically belly to belly. I just looked at her. I wanted to kiss her so badly. I brought my face closer to hers and not really knowing how far to go, or what to say, or what to do, I said, “You really do look great mom.” I kissed her cheek. There are different ways to kiss a cheek. I didn’t kiss hers the way a son might give his mother a dismissive peck. I kissed her softly with an open mouth, the way a lover might.

This time she smiled an uncomfortable smile and began breathing deeply. She put her hands on my arms. She kissed my cheek, the same way I had kissed her. She tried getting some words out. She said, “Honey…we…Danny…” she looked out and said, “I think the rain is stopping, we can go now.”

We walked the two blocks in the fine drizzle, near to where we were parked, and across the street from the apartments. I said, “Mom come with me, I want to show you something.”

We walked into the building that had a banner saying ‘Now selling – only a few left,’ and mom’s mouth opened when the doorman tipped his hat and said, “Good day sir… ma’am,” without asking where we were going. He’s seen me enough times to know me.

Mom said, “What’s going on?”

“Be patient, just come with me…ma’am.” I led her into the elevator and we rode up to the thirtieth floor. I took out the keys and opened the door. She walked in and was astonished at the big open space and the view across town.

“This is amazing,” she said, It’s so big, and spotless.” Mom’s thing for ‘Clean’ didn’t only apply to houses; she never liked it if I skipped shaving for even one day.

“Danny what is this, why do you have the keys to this place?”

I said, “I’ll explain it all in a minute, but first I have to show you one more thing.”

I took her down the hall and opened the second door. “Oh my God,” she said. “This is even more beautiful than the other one, Danny…?”

I said, “Okay, so this is the one you would pick right?” I handed her keys and said, “It’s for you Gracie-girl.” By the time I finished the story about where the money had come from, she was crying and laughing at the same time in shocked disbelief.

She said, “This is beyond anything I could have dreamed…and you did all this…yourself…for me…”

“No mom, I hardly did it by myself…and I did it for us.” I put my arms around her and I pressed my lips to hers. Her mouth opened a little and after a moment she pulled back and looked at me.

She didn’t ask what I was doing. She didn’t even look surprised. She just said, “No Danny…no.” avrupa yakası escort She put her cheek on my chest and held me. It wasn’t a time for words, so I just wrapped her in my arms.

We moved into the Apartment and furnished it complete with piano. Within nine months we sold the house in Staten Island and the other apartment for almost double what we paid. The investments were doing well, but we weren’t. The kiss didn’t go away. Its taste was between us when we talked, and its touch was between us when we looked at each other. The one time we did talk about it, we went around in circles. Mom said it was something that couldn’t be, and I kept asking why not.

Whenever things weren’t right between us, mom asked me to play for her. More often than not it was Mozart. Some people think it’s calming for children and it helps them learn. I don’t know about that, but mom was always in a better mood and usually wanted to be close as I played. She’d often sit on the bench and put her arms around my waist and her face on my shoulder blades. It wasn’t easy to play that way, but I didn’t mind. And when one of her breasts pressed against me, I minded even less.

The first time we almost crossed the physical barrier, we were at a dinner place where there was dancing. We’d had a few drinks and during a soft ballad I felt her moving against me much more than the dance required. I know she knew I was hard, because her hand rested on it twice. The first time probably by accident, and the second time, probably to see if she was feeling what she thought she was feeling. I wanted to say, “I’m hard for you mom.” I wanted her to say, “I’m glad you’re hard for me.” It didn’t happen.

When we got home, we changed our clothes and sat to watch the news before going to bed. Mom was wearing a T-shirt and I could see that she wasn’t wearing a bra because the points of her nipples were evident through the material. I leaned over and kissed her and rested my hand on her tit. I fondled her breast as I kissed her. She didn’t push my hand away. I put my hand under her shirt.

There were so many times I’d thought of holding my mother’s bare tit, but I still wasn’t prepared for the reality of her velvety soft skin, and the weight of her flesh in my hand, and the rubbery feel of her nipple as it hardened. It sounds like it went on for a long while, but it didn’t.

She broke the kiss and put her hand on my cheek and she said, “Danny, I can’t do what you want to do.” She looked in my eyes with a sad expression and I let go of her breast and took my hand out from under the shirt. She said, “Baby, it would be so easy to do this…because I want to, and I want to do it for you. But for one thing, I don’t know if I can get my head around it. And for another, even though I can see that you want me now, it won’t work baby. If not today, or next month, the time will still come when you’ll need someone else, someone nearer your own age and…”

She wouldn’t even listen to my protestations and explanations. It was just ‘No.’ There was now another barrier between us, and every hug or innocent kiss had thoughts behind it from both of us. After a while mom said, “Danny things are going so much better thanks to you, there doesn’t have to be this tension between us, does there baby? Can’t we go back to being the way we were?”

I said, “Sure mom, we will,” and I did make some attempt to be cheerful around her, but it was sort of like trying to put one of those cheap raincoats back into the bag they come in – very difficult.

After playing ping-pong with it in my head until I was dizzy, I went to the person whose judgment I trusted the most. I had grown to love Carla as a mentor and a friend. I wasn’t sure she could handle this, but I had no one else to turn to. As we sat together on the piano bench I said, “Carla, can I talk you about something?”

“You know you can Danny,” She laughed and added, “But if it’s about relationships, I have to warn you, I’m almost bankrupt in that department.”

“Well it sort of…is.” I said.

Carla said, “Red says you have more girls asking you out than you know what to do with, and don’t you tell him I said that, because I think he’s a little jealous.”

“Yeah, I do okay, but this situation is a little unusual…the woman is older than me.”

She tilted her head for a second and I thought she might be thinking that I might be talking about her, but she dismissed it and said, “Okay, so…?”

“Well, It’s been a couple of years and I can’t stop thinking about her. I mean really, I’m talking every day.”

“Have you approached her? Who is she?” Carla saw me hesitate.

“I don’t mean her name, I mean what does she do, how do you know her?” Again I hesitated.

Carla said, “Danny, I’ve known you for a long time now – what aren’t you telling me?”

“You swear you won’t say anything?”

“Daniel, I don’t have to swear because you know I wouldn’t.”

“Oh man…” I said. “It’s my mom.”

Her eyes opened wide, “You mean you…you’re thinking about your mom in a…sexual way?”

I shook my head yes and after a moment she said, “This would really be a good time to sing, ‘Oh Danny boy’…”

“I’m serious Carla,” I said

“I know Danny, I’m sorry, I just need a minute to process this. How can I help you?”

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