My Roommate’s Dad

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My Roommate’s DadWhat did it mean when he said no?Well, he never said, no. Not in so many words. But he told me togo away. Well, not really. But he told me to get dressed. Someone mightcome in.Was I misreading him? I don’t know if I’ll ever know. But I thinkabout it a lot.This man I think about so much, the one I dream about is myroommate’s Dad. Mike and I were assigned as roommates for our freshmanyear. I was from Ohio, going to school in North Carolina. Mike was fromjust 40 miles away.I met his parents the first day there. Mike and his Dad are builtalike, hairy and husky. I’m taller than them, and smooth.Something happened that first year. His parents were nice to me.His Dad was always friendly, sweet, interested in me. It did something tome. Kindled something I had never known was there.I had dated girls a lot in high school. I never was interested inguys. The only gay guys I knew I didn’t like. And what they did was sick.Or at least I thought so then. Now I wonder.I started daydreaming about Mike’s Dad. Wishing he were aroundmore. Liking it when he smiled at me. I even got to liking it when hehugged me. My family never hugged. But he would reach up (he’s about 6′,I’m 6’4″) and hold me tight, and I loved it. I was kind of surprised thefirst time. But I liked it the second. And loved it the third.What I didn’t like was that I began to get hard when I thoughtabout him. I didn’t know why. There was something about him that excitedme. And I remember thinking it was sick. How Mike’s Dad would despise meif he knew I felt that way.I went to confession. The priest was kind. Said it was a crush,and not really sexual, not gay at all, and that I shouldn’t worry about it.But I couldn’t quit thinking him. I started wondering what he looked likenaked. Started enjoying when he would wear a shirt open at the collar, andI could see the hair bushing out. Wishing he had been my Dad, andwondering if he thought I was less of a guy because my chest is completelysmooth.Then one night, I beat off thinking about his chest. Wonderingwhat it looked like. I couldn’t believe how far I shot. It was such aturn on. And I felt so guilty that night, I could hardly sleep.I went to confession again the next day. Told the priesteverything about the night before. He listened, and looked kind of sad.I went over some kind of edge the next week. I was at the mall.Went into a restroom to piss, and a guy was in there. I did a double take– I thought it was Mike’s Dad. Then I realized immediately it wasn’t him,after I’d said hello.The guy didn’t understand. I was being friendly because I hadthought he was someone else. But he kept on talking quietly, realfriendly. Started rubbing my arm. Then he took his cock out.I couldn’t take my eyes off it. It was big and thick. The thoughtcrossed my mind that that’s what his Dad looks like. I kept staring. “Areyou cool with this?,” the man asked. I sort of nodded and gulped. “Touchit,” he told me. I did. It was stiff and big. “Ever done this before?,”he asked me, and I lied and said, “Sure.””Then play with illegal bahis siteleri it,” he told me, “Feel it up good.”And I did. It felt good. Big and hard, and he had a lot offoreskin. I’d hardly ever seen a guy with that. But it felt wonderful.And all the time, I’m thinking, “You’re making yourself a fag.” I didn’tcare. The only time I stopped was when he started to shoot, and I pulledmy hand away. It squirted a lot, all over the floor. “You’re cool,” hetold me, and walked out.I washed my hands in the sink there for a long time that day. Icouldn’t quit thinking about it, how it felt in my hand. And wondering ifMike’s Dad looked like that. And feeling sick.I went a couple of days without whacking off. I just felt so badabout what I had done. I kept thinking I was making myself gay. And Ididn’t want that. I didn’t want to be gay. I just wanted him. Mike’sDad. To hug me, to hold me, talk to me. That’s not gay, is it? It’s notlike I wanted to be a fag. I still want to get married. I still want k**ssome day.I went back to the mall. I thought maybe that guy might be there.It had been a couple of weeks since I’d seen Mike’s Dad. I missed him.Mike has a family picture on his desk. His Dad is wearing a beautifulstriped shirt, and he’s got sunglasses on. I wish I had a picture of himfor me. I could carry it in my wallet. I don’t know how I’d ever get one.I think sometimes I should try and steal one next time I’m at their house.I have to watch what I say. If his Dad found out I felt this way, he mightdemand that Mike move out of the dorm, to get away from me. I might notever see him again, if his Dad finds out.His Dad’s name is Jef. I keep wanting to call him that, act likehe’s one of the guys and all, and I keep tripping over the sound. He’scool with it. Keeps telling me to call him whatever I feel comfortablewith. And nothing feels comfortable, cause I’m scared I’ll say somethingstupid. I think I sound like a dork. Always trying so hard to be cool,and I come across like I’m a dork. God, what am I doing?I went back to the mall. I thought maybe that guy might be there.He wasn’t. But other guys were. For the same reason the first guy was.At first, I didn’t do anything more than I did the first time. Just feelthem up. But I can’t believe I kept going further than that. At first, Icouldn’t stand to feel their cum on my hand. But I got used to it. Then Ilet one of them jerk me off. I had done that with friends when I was ak**, but it never felt this way, never felt so fuckin hot, never felt likeI was going to go through the ceiling. This was good. My cock would gethuge and hard, and spray like crazy. I even let a guy suck me. Thatdidn’t bother me too bad. What scares me is that I wish I had the nerve tosuck them. I like the thought. It’s such a fag thing to do. God, what ishappening to me.One time, I went out to a guy’s truck. He was about Jef’s age, andreally hot. He said we really should go to his truck, `cause it wasn’tthat safe in the restroom. So I went with him. It was dark out in theparking lot, youwin giriş and he told me, “Just put your mouth on it, just for a second,and see what it feels like. You want to, don’t ya?” And I did. Just putmy mouth on it for a second, and took it off. I can’t believe I liked it.Can’t believe I almost kept it on there for longer. And after we bothshot, and he cleaned up with some tissues he had in the glove box, westarted talking. I told him about Jef, and what I was thinking about him.God, I can’t believe I told him that. I felt like such a shit afterwards.But he was real nice. He listened to me, and told me something I couldn’tbelieve: “If you want this man, you are probably getting signals from him.He probably wants you, too. You need to find a place alone with him. Showhim you’re cool to it. It will happen. You’ll get what you want.”I couldn’t quit thinking about that. How maybe Jef wanted this,too. Maybe he wanted to be with me, like I wanted to be with him. And Ikept wondering how I could figure it out. I wanted to call him, ask him togo some place with me, just me and him, with Mike not around. But Ifigured that was too weird. But I thought something might come up, `causelater on that month Mike and I would be staying at their house for a week,over Spring break. Neither of us had the money to go some place cool, andJef had told me I was welcome there, and I was sure as hell glad.That’s how it happened. We were there for almost an entire week.Now Jef works at home, computer stuff, so he’s around all the time. Mike’sMom is gone all day working, and Mike’s sisters are go to school all day,so I kept hoping there would come a time when Mike would be gone for awhile, and I could try something, anything, to see if Jef felt the same wayI did.And the day came, finally, the third day we were there. Mike had abunch of errands to run, and he was going to catch up with some friends Ididn’t know. Said he would be leaving out around 9 in the morning, andwouldn’t be back until after lunch, maybe later. I faked like I wanted tosleep in, and I knew this would be my chance.Mike left — right on schedule, he is always on schedule — alittle after 9, and I got up quickly. Jef walked by the door of the roomwhere I had slept, and told me good morning through the door. It felt sohot, just me and him there, and I was friendly back, even friendlier than Iusually am, and I told him I was going to take a shower, and he said thatwas cool, that he’d be working, and to let him know if there was somethingI needed. Damn, that got me even harder than I already was. I’d had a lotof ammunition these days, `cause Jef works out there, too, and I’d had thechance to see him in his beautiful shorts and wifebeater shirt. I neverthought legs were hot on a man, but his are. Real muscular and hairy.Damn, he’s hairy all over. I tried to keep from staring at his front.But I heard him walk downstairs and I got up and showered. I washorned up in the shower, and usually I would have beat off, but I didn’t.I just knew we were canlı bahis going to do something. I wanted to look nice. Ididn’t know what I was going to say, but I thought he might say it first.So I showered, and put on aftershave, and brushed my teeth.I started to get dressed, but then I thought, “What the hell?Maybe he’ll like what he sees.” So I just wrapped the towel around me. Igot it fixed just right. I looked at my chest in the mirror, and wished –like I did every morning — that I was hairy like him. But the guy at themall had told me that sometimes hairy guys really go for smooth ones, andmaybe Jef felt like that.So just like that, I walked downstairs to his office. He wasturned to the computer, and he said, without turning around, “Hey, buddy,hold on a second, I need to save this file,” and I said, “Sure,” and thenhe turned around, and I just smiled, and said, “What’s goin on?”I couldn’t read what he was thinking. He looked a littlesurprised, maybe, seeing that all I had on was the towel wrapped around me.But I thought he looked interested. And I realized that his eyes hadlooked up and down my body. I blushed. Fuck, why did I blush. And then Isaw his tongue lick his lips. Just for a second. “Sit down,” he told me,and I did.I was half-hard, and hoped he couldn’t see it. I still felt sortof dumb, but I was so horned I had to do something. We just talked, kindof small talk, and he asked me if I wanted something to eat, and I told himthat, No, I was cool, and I got harder when he leaned forward in his seattoward me, real close.And that was when he sort of half-smiled, and looked away for justa second. He put his hand on my arm, and rested it there. And then herubbed my arm, back and forth, just for a second, smiled real big, andstared straight into my eyes, and opened his mouth. I thought he hesitateda second before he started talking, and when he talked, he didn’t talklong: “You’d better go get dressed,” he said softly, “No telling whensomebody might come home,” and he squeezed my arm again, and he stood up,and so did I. “Sure,” I told him, and smiled a little, and felt like areal shit. He thinks I’m a real, genuine fag, I thought, and I turnedtoward the stairs. That was when he reached out again. He took my upperarm this time, squeezed it again, and he smiled that beautiful smile, and Iwent upstairs.I thought he would treat me weird from then on, but he didn’t. Hewas still friendly, still nice, and he talked to me a lot that week. Butwhat did he mean when he said no? I think about it a lot now. But I metthat guy at the mall again, and he asked me if I’d ever been able to gettogether with Jef, and I told him what had happened, and how I’d made abutt out of myself, and how Jef had said no. And this guy tells mesomething I think about even more. That Jef didn’t say no. That maybe hewas saying, “Later.” That Jef and I could be friends, but maybe Jef wasafraid fooling around might mess up our friendship. So we have becomefriends. I can call him by his name now, without getting weird. He and Ieven get together for a beer sometimes, just us, without Mike even. Weplay racquetball some. I like him. And he’s told me he likes me. Saidthat over a beer one night. I still think about him a lot. Does that makeme gay? I don’t think so. All I want is to be his friend.The end

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