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Vienna, 1899“Gustav!” a warm and familiar voice called and I turned to find a fellow student smiling at me, hands buried deep in his coat pockets to stave off the chilly April breeze.“Ah, Christian!” I called back, returning the smile as he approached me and shook my hand. After the customary comments on the weather he asked where I was going, and when I replied that I was on my way to look at a flat, he stopped me.“Moving?” he asked. “Whatever do you mean?”Torn between a genuine desire to be polite and not wishing to be late for my appointment with a potential landlord, I quickly filled him in on how my flatmate had, without warning, vacated his room and how I now found myself either forced to pay for a double room or to seek out new accommodation. He listened intently, a sympathetic look on his face.Christian and I met in my first year at the conservatory and we hit it off immediately. Despite the fact that he was exceptionally gifted at playing the piano and the violin, he was not conceited and had a way of making people always feel welcome. He was also charming, easy to talk to and a colourful character to be around.I had often suspected that there was something different about him, but only because he was so nonverbal when the rest of us were conversing about the fairer sex. To all outward appearances he was a healthy, normal young man. He was by far the most handsome of all the students I knew and certainly one of the most confident, and yet he never spoke of the inevitable success everyone was certain he enjoyed with the young women in the city.It wasn’t until about half a year later that I first entertained the thought that my friend might be—the word was practically foreign to me then— a homosexual. A couple of mutual acquaintances had been discussing him one day and commented on his sexual preferences in no uncertain terms. There was no malice in their words. In fact they mentioned it rather casually, with a hint of sympathy as one would report a colleague having come down with the flu. I had been appalled by their accusations and stood up for my friend, retorting that it was absurd and uncalled for to defame a young man’s character in such a way. Still I couldn’t shake the feeling that what they were saying was true.As an adolescent I had done my share of dabbling in the homoerotic realms which are part and parcel of every man’s youth, but it remained an alien concept to me that any man should be so inclined toward buggery as to practice it exclusively as a way of life. Still, of all the chaps from the conservatory Christian was the one I felt I could relate to the most, and our differences were far outweighed by our similarities, our shared love of music and our fondness for one another.At first I thought Christian was just being polite when he offered to let me stay at his place. I thanked him and insisted it isvecbahis was not necessary, but he wouldn’t hear of it.“So it’s settled then?” he asked, putting it more as a statement than a question.Though I hated the thought of imposing on him, he made it clear that this was far from being the case and after his insisting we say no more about it I reluctantly accepted. And a few weeks later as I packed my things in preparation for the move, I found myself looking forward to spending the summer with him.****I had never seen such a luxurious apartment in all my time as a student. Not only was it spacious, with characteristic Viennese high ceilings and double doors, but it was tastefully decorated in the most modern style as well. My friend was obviously from a well-to-do family; another of his dirty little secrets.He put me in the guest room, which held the biggest bed I had ever seen. I had never slept on satin sheets before, and as my eyes traversed the dark outlines of the great room that night I felt a sense of awe at the luxury I was going to be living in over the next few months.After only a few days we had settled into a comfortable routine of setting off for our lectures together, visiting an opera or a concert every other night and going out to socialise at parties on the rest. One Friday evening in early July we were stuck in on account of the miserable weather. Somewhat perturbed that we couldn’t go out, we settled into the grand living room, I on the settee and Christian sat at the piano playing Beethoven as the rain pelted the windowpanes. Fortunately my friend was never short of interesting conversation material, and what started off as a drab evening quickly evolved into one filled with lively and captivating discussion.Having shared a flat for the past six weeks, we had got to know each other so well that he no longer tried to hide his true nature. Without either of us directly saying it, it was obvious that his secret was out. He was now more forthright in the remarks he made about men and sex than I had previously known him to be. And to my surprise, I found the real Christian behind the facade of social decency even more delightful and charming, and I was not at all put out about the prospect of spending a rainy evening in his company.We were discussing another of our mutual acquaintances who was studying to become a tenor, when Christian commented –somewhat exaggeratedly– on how the young man was the embodiment of male perfection.“Stop” I retorted playfully. “You’re hurting my feelings.”At this, Christian laughed warmly.“My dear Gustav, surely you do not need me to tell you how perfect you are.”It could have been dismissed as a light-hearted comment if the way he said it had not been so filled with significance. Silence fell between us. Neither of us dared utter a word.Christian had a way of speaking isveçbahis giriş that sometimes made it impossible to discern when he was joking and when he was being serious. A faint smile graced his lips, though it was clear that now he was serious. Suddenly so was I.“You… you don’t really mean that, surely,” I managed to say.Christian looked at me intently, then answered with sincerity.“Could I have lost my heart to anything short of utter perfection?”Our light conversation had taken an abrupt turn. For the longest time I was at a loss for words. Never before had I been paid a more beautiful compliment, but that it had come from another man–from the Adonis Christian, no less — was disturbing to me. I was baffled, but my curiosity eventually got the better of me and I had to ask.“Surely you’re not saying you have feelings for me.”Christian’s expression was one of slight discomfort. He broke eye contact, but his voice was firm.“’Feelings for you?’ That’s putting it mildly.”A flood of different emotions hit me all at once. Shock, disbelief, confusion, fear…A heavy silence descended. Neither of us looked at the other. I was too wrapped up in my own reaction to wonder what was going through my friend’s mind.Finally I spoke.“How long?” was all I could say. I still couldn’t bring myself to look at him. Christian paused a moment before replying. “Since the day we met.”I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.“Why didn’t you say anything to me?” I demanded in a voice that betrayed how weak a handle I had on this news. I realised it was a stupid question the moment I’d asked it. He didn’t answer. My pulse raced with emotion and I struggled to keep my voice steady although I was deeply unsettled.“What sort of feelings, exactly?”Christian looked at me tenderly before lowering his eyes. “Not the sort one talks about in polite society.”“I don’t understand.”“I don’t expect you to understand, Gustav.” He suddenly sounded much older than his twenty years.“Help me to understand,” I countered quietly. More silence followed. Then Christian heaved a loud sigh.“Have you ever wanted something you knew you couldn’t have?” he asked, though it sounded more like he was talking to himself.I let the question settle in the air. Of course I had. Hasn’t everyone?“What is it that you want, Christian?” I asked seriously.He shook his head gently. “I can’t tell you,” he replied in a condescending tone that made me feel about five years old. This I found too provoking to dismiss. The words tumbled out of my mouth before I’d had time to think them through.“Show me.”I had never seen my friend caught off guard before, but with those two little words I had actually managed to render him speechless. How far are you willing to take this? his eyes seemed to ask. I was asking myself the same thing, all the while attempting to appear cool, composed.“Are you serious?” isveçbahis yeni giriş Christian asked, his voice almost a whisper. All his characteristic playfulness had long since gone, replaced by a sober earnestness. I did not answer. I could not find the words to do so.Finally he moved closer and leaned in toward me. For a second I wondered if he was going to kiss me and I didn’t know how I felt about that. But the kiss never came. Instead I followed his eyes as they fell to my lap, where his hands began calmly unfastening my trousers. I did not stir, but simply remained sat in the same position. Not because I was too shocked to stop him, but because I could think of no reason to do so.I felt a stirring inside. Not quite one of arousal, but more of curiosity as I watched Christian in silence. His movements were composed but concentrated. He undid the top button, again pausing to check my reaction. This time I nodded ever so slightly and gave him a little smile to signal my willingness. Male or not, Christian’s eagerness intrigued me. That he was so attracted to me really played on my vanity, and the fact that he himself was attractive did not hurt his cause either. In addition to welcoming this curious new development, I now found myself growing steadily more excited by it. By him.Emboldened, he then set about gracefully undoing the rest of my trouser buttons, one at a time, exposing my shirttails tucked inside. His gaze fell upon the soft outline of my loins beneath the thin layer of fabric, and he hesitated before moving on, revelling in the anticipation as one would before tearing the wrapping paper off a gift. This was his favourite bit, I could tell. I felt a bit of a thrill myself.Slowly and more determinedly Christian pulled my my shirt to the side, exposing me completely and taking a good look at the hidden piece I had to offer. By now my growing excitement had manifested itself physically and my friend looked pleased with what he saw.Releasing a small sigh of excitement, he undid the top button of his shirt, loosening the tie which held his collar in place. And looking quite sexy while doing so, I couldn’t help but notice. Then he placed his hand on my cock and began to slowly rub it, his eyes alternating between intently studying every inch of my sex, and traversing up to my eyes, which were in turn studying him.Strangely, I didn’t feel the least bit uncomfortable at having him touch me so intimately. It was the first time in years that I had felt another man’s hand and it felt good. Very good, in fact.His touch was gentle but firm, rhythmically sliding my foreskin up and down, making me grow stiffer and randier with each passing second. There was a patience to his touch which communicated that he was in no rush to bring me to climax; that he was content to take his time. All I had to do was lye back and let it happen.I inhaled audibly as Christian’s fingertips flirted with my now exposed cock head, causing me to twitch in response.Wet and swollen now, he took my shaft properly in his hand and began to stroke it more confidently.
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